It would help if you talked to me like I'm dumb.

I might lose a male friend because they could be getting romantically attached to me after I talked to them just like they're a girl.

I grew up around mostly girls and women to the point I don't fully get why I can't tell guy friends I love them. I kept telling one "I love ya dude!" To me, that sounds the same as "I love you as a friend!"

I thought spelling "you" as "ya" and adding the word "dude" firmly said "you're in the friend-zone." But no.

This is easily not the only example of where I fucked up, but I won't know unless it's pointed out to me and explained.

I'm furious that I live in a society :amerikkka: where I can't just tell guy friends that I love them.

  • CantaloupeAss [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I firmly believe in telling the people you love that you love them, all the time. People don't say it or hear it nearly enough.

    I think if it gets to a point where this person makes a pass at you, you should have a candid and honest conversation with him about your feelings, both platonic and romantic (after turning him down).

    If you do wind up having a direct conversation about it, you will learn a lot about this person. Some men can handle that disappointment and still be kind and engaging people; some men are insecure, controlled by their egos, and will try to reject you back to protect themselves. (Being upset and needing time and space to process his feelings is one thing. Being toxic and hurtful to you is another.)

    Even in the non-toxic scenario, sometimes one person really wants a friendship and the other really wants a relationship, and when it doesn't work out they drift apart. That's life sometimes.