Had to lie to fam that I was def going out and meeting my old school friends cuz my family is going out to a boomer party and I don’t wanna go there but they wouldn’t let me be home alone.
Had to lie to fam that I was def going out and meeting my old school friends cuz my family is going out to a boomer party and I don’t wanna go there but they wouldn’t let me be home alone.
Capitalist alienation is a hell of a drug
Also never learning proper social skills as a kid and feeling woefully inadequate and hollow inside when I'm around other people
Find a local anime or RPG group on meetup. As it’s a mix of awkward or those who tolerate.
There's like one meetup group for D&D near me and they meet when I'm at work
Out here it's mostly whitebread boomer shit and everything closes at 9 PM
Going to karaoke once a week with coworkers gives me an hour drive home and gas is expensive
So even with my social skills training I paid good money for (it did in fact work) my prospects are limited, I don't seem to have anything substantial in common with anyone irl except for one real friend I can see in person.
There was also a good chunk of years where I had given up on life entirety so it can make for very awkward conversation, diving into that part of my past where I felt like a prisoner of life itself and I longed for death but refused to give it to myself and hated myself all the more intensely for it. I don't have many positive things to say about my own life other than "it's been looking up lately"
People like small talk. Low-level social bonding without much emotional or intellectual investment. It's rude to rush to the oasis of social contact and drink greedily from it like a man crawling in from the desert. But Jesus fucking Christ am I thirsty. I've been deprived of basic social contact by my poor communication skills for so long I don't know what to do or talk about, and riding the vibe can only get you so far.
I crave something deeper but don't know how to begin seeking it. Desperation is a social turn-off. So is being hyperactive and impulsive, my two most consistent traits. Inattentiveness, also a turn-off. So starting on the back foot already. People talk about taking risks, making yourself vulnerable, but blind trial and error has left me with a lot of scars, and risk does not necessarily correlate with possible reward. Running into traffic is pretty risky, after all.
The entire point of geek culture is to have that shallow shit to talk about with strangers/near strangers.
I just don’t know what to say. Shit sucks.
Not to be snobbish but a lot of geeks have awful taste too. Pure Bazinga brains who think more lightsabers = more awesome
I am super picky with media but try to take a "okay sounds cool man" approach to stuff that doesn't interest me now
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
Was this therapy? Or something else? Just wondering because I think my social skills are below average
Social skills coaching in a group setting over Zoom. Really helped me pinpoint the rough spots in my presentation and conversational skills. Practice is super important for this shit. And other adults are, by and large, unwilling to the point of hostility to tolerate someone who's figuring out the ropes after missing out.
So having a safe space to practice with targeted feedback from a professional was really helpful in building up my confidence for a basic conversation.
But now I don't want a simple conversation, I want to build relationships, and I'm still struggling so hard on that.
i prefer people who shower