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  • Wertheimer [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    More hilarity with Supreme Court justices learning about sex for the first time.

    CW - parodic depictions of sex crimes

    Rehnquist slipped into the conference room one day and took his seat.

    He pulled a magazine from his stack of papers. The National Lampoon, a humor magazine, had just released its February issue. The centerfold was entitled “Amicae Curiae”—Friends of the Court—and it depicted, in a color cartoon, all nine of the Justices engaged in a variety of sexual activity.

    The Chief, naked except for holster and pistol, was on the floor licking the boot of an otherwise naked young woman.

    Brennan was standing in front of two very young girls holding his robe open.

    Stewart was measuring the throat of a young woman with a ruler, apparently in preparation for oral sex.

    Rehnquist, clad in a woman’s bra and red garter belt, was parading before the others cracking a black whip.

    White, a blindfold partially covering his glasses, was apparently engaged in some taxing sexual activity, though the cartoon did not make it clear what that activity was.

    Powell was kneeling naked, his hands bound together, while a black woman in underwear marked “Exhibit A” flogged him.

    Marshall stood by the side of the bench doing nothing but looking up at Douglas, who sat alone on the bench with a naked young boy at his side.

    Blackmun was sodomizing a kangaroo.

    Chuckling, Rehnquist passed the issue around the table. Most of them laughed. The Chief was angered both by the cartoon and the fact that it had been brought into conference.

    Afterward, Marshall sent a clerk to buy extra copies for his college-age children.

    Brennan proudly told his clerks that while every other Justice was portrayed engaging in some sexual activity, he was pictured protecting several young children by blocking their view with his robe.

    His clerks decided that they owed it to him to explain “flashing.”

    Blackmun told his clerks how funny the centerfold was, especially the portion depicting Rehnquist “in drag.” The only problem, Blackmun said, was that he couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to be doing with the kangaroo.

    The clerks drew straws to see who would tell him.

    • Alaskaball [comrade/them]MA
      ·
      2 years ago

      Brennan proudly told his clerks that while every other Justice was portrayed...

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