Looks like the tummy ache gun never went away!

  • mathemachristian [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    The NIH study into the mysterious illness has only stoked animosity among victims, some of whom claim the CIA made them participate as a prerequisite for obtaining care at Walter Reed.

    “They wanted us to be a lab rat for a week before we actually got treatment at Walter Reed — and at bare minimum that is unethical and immoral,” said Polymeropoulos, who believes that this was “ordered” by senior leadership at the agency.

    No diagnosis! Only treatment! only-throw

  • PKMKII [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Damn those Russians for getting CIA agents blackout drunk with prostitutes

  • plinky [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    they don't believe in the invisible ray gun invisible assailant's state affiliation pathetic

  • SacredExcrement [any, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    I thought Russia was too poor to have paved roads, but you're telling me they have a mystery ray gun that the US doesn't have? Despite the US spending roughly 900 trillion dollars on the MIC?

    • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      They spent all their money on secret underground supervillain lairs where they come up with bizarre superweapons. Here's a diagram:

      Show

      Wait, that's something else, sorry

  • sawne128 [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Feds hate them, use this one weird trick to never have to work again!

  • MolotovHalfEmpty [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    We were told that we could help overthrow Russia and collect a nice juicy medical pension early. Instead all we got was public humiliation and a future being unemployable elsewhere and unpromotable here! Waaaaaaaaaaah!

  • huf [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    so what happened to these people? nothing, and they're just liars? long covid? CIA experiment? bad work safety regulations while fumigating the office, so they got dosed with pesticide?

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Somehow a 1950s Catskills comedian does some topical 2024 standup.

    "So a man goes to the doctor with a problem."

    "Man says 'Ya gotta help me, doc. My head hurts. I'm very frustrated that the CIA isn't blaming Russia for my symptoms."

    "Doctor says 'I'm very familar with that. I've got something I can recommend.' "

    "Man says 'Thank you so much.' And the doctor gives him a business card for the Interfaith Help Center.

    "Man says 'What the heck is this?' rudely."

    "Doctor says 'I'm a doctor. Not a rabbi.' "

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
        ·
        2 months ago

        I'm Jewish. I wanted the punchline had an exorcism but I couldn't get it to work. And then I didn't want "...not a psychiatrist". The idea is that the doctor doesn't believe at all that it's an actual medical problem.