Oh yeah, that definitely jives with certain folks I'd met. I totally understand it too, like I adjusted pretty well, got that stellate ganglion blocked and all... But there is something that's almost more unsettling about life in a declining neoliberal hellhole. Like being back in the US, you have a lot of different expectations and unstated motivations. Mostly from work, like getting back into normal life there's the potential for job loss literally leaving you on the street, landlords raising rents, things totally outside of your control... But with the veneer of civilized society, with lots of people who just don't think about that or are also just totally resigned and stressed by it acting like it's all just fine.
At least when you're in a time & place where basically everyone is either trying to murder you or just glad you're not the people trying to kill them, and there's just one goal with lots of busywork - it's kind of simpler, actually.
So my procedure actually just involved having a needle stuck in it a couple times, which I was not exactly totally on board with but in hindsight I don't regret at all. The folks I was with said they preferred not returning anyone to their homeland who might "go postal" and damage their reputation more or less. I'd gotten hurt, pretty seriously but not quite life-altering, so I think that was part of the calculus for potential PTSD and issues down the road.
Before the aforementioned reason for the trip, I was somewhat prone to panick attacks and generally super anxious. Now, just generally not at all outside of romantic relationships & existential anxiety (which might not be sympathetic nervous system anxiety I guess). I ended up in IT roles where pressure would've killed me, and now it doesn't matter if everything's on fire, I'm kind of disturbingly unnerved as one colleague put it. I'm still glad to be out of those kinds of roles, but that's an example.
cw Anxiety
Oh yeah, that definitely jives with certain folks I'd met. I totally understand it too, like I adjusted pretty well, got that stellate ganglion blocked and all... But there is something that's almost more unsettling about life in a declining neoliberal hellhole. Like being back in the US, you have a lot of different expectations and unstated motivations. Mostly from work, like getting back into normal life there's the potential for job loss literally leaving you on the street, landlords raising rents, things totally outside of your control... But with the veneer of civilized society, with lots of people who just don't think about that or are also just totally resigned and stressed by it acting like it's all just fine.
At least when you're in a time & place where basically everyone is either trying to murder you or just glad you're not the people trying to kill them, and there's just one goal with lots of busywork - it's kind of simpler, actually.
I've heard about getting one's Stellate Ganglion nerve stapled, would you mind describing what's it like and how it's affected your daily life?
So my procedure actually just involved having a needle stuck in it a couple times, which I was not exactly totally on board with but in hindsight I don't regret at all. The folks I was with said they preferred not returning anyone to their homeland who might "go postal" and damage their reputation more or less. I'd gotten hurt, pretty seriously but not quite life-altering, so I think that was part of the calculus for potential PTSD and issues down the road.
Before the aforementioned reason for the trip, I was somewhat prone to panick attacks and generally super anxious. Now, just generally not at all outside of romantic relationships & existential anxiety (which might not be sympathetic nervous system anxiety I guess). I ended up in IT roles where pressure would've killed me, and now it doesn't matter if everything's on fire, I'm kind of disturbingly unnerved as one colleague put it. I'm still glad to be out of those kinds of roles, but that's an example.
Fascinating, thank you.