I like living in a city where I can meet new people often and fairly easily, but I also don't feel like I have really any close friends in the sense that I think I did when I was younger. I think it is partly nostalgia and also being more aware of alienation. I do make a strong connection sometimes, but I just don't feel like it can go anywhere. Everyone has their own stuff going on like work, family, partners etc. I don't want to feel like I'm pushing people to hang out with me or spend money on food/drinks/tix etc. So I don't normally engage with people via texts or DMs even after I've meet them irl. If I don't see someone in my normal day to day stuff at least once a month, I probably won't develop anything with them beyond shallow recognition.

I need to try to make more of an effort I guess, especially on the follow up stuff. But I've got all my life stuff too, so it's hard to find time and energy for doing that. At least I'm getting out and meeting new people I guess.

I find that social media and messaging has created this new dynamic of posting about doing something, and maybe your 'friends' are interested enough to come check it out or participate in some way. But often it's like a private thread, and if you don't show up after 3-4 invites, you are likely to get dropped from consideration. It's a very weird dynamic and makes trying to deepening friendships extra awkward.