I found one lady who talks about reading critical theory (or playing the same video game over and over again while listening to history podcasts really) and dystopian futures and being a maladjusted and empathetic person that likes jokes and is all "hmu if u also sad and disheveled" on her profile, and I'm all "I was born for this social connection :large-adult-son: "

Try putting yourself out there, Hexbears, even if you get ghosted or passed on or it ends in disappointment, you believed in yourself enough to try and that can do something for your self-esteem in and of itself

Even if this ends in disaster and the concentrated social scorn of all women on earth converges on me to make me spontaneously combust I was all "I like myself enough to believe I can connect with people again" :joker-gaming: :joker-dancing:

EDIT: To be clear the advice is not "append your self-worth to a dating profile" it's "believe in yourself enough to try dating in whatever form that takes, you'll feel better about yourself for entertaining the possibility"

Also I sent a message to that possible commie/anarchist girl saying she seems cool and i like her sense of humor and her pics are cute, I expect the FBI to kick down my door for being a creep and taze me until I explode like an enemy in Syphon Filter within the hour

  • Hewaoijsdb [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Huh, interesting. I usually hear the opposite experiences from people who go on dating websites. But I'm glad that you're feeling more confident

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I'm sure there will be diminishing returns but fuck man I'm trying new things

  • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I'm glad it made you feel better. It's easy to get discouraged with dating apps try so bear in mind the women you message are probably being flooded with weird creepy messages so don't take it personal if they don't get back to you it's not necessarily something you did

  • ElmLion [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Dating sites are weird, but I think they're good for letting you realise that there really are a weird and cool spread of strange people out there. Props to you for going for it, my only advice is don't stop there - look for other opportunities, however small, to meet people other ways too.

  • supdog [e/em/eir,ey/em]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I think I caught a girl looking at my arms. I move boxes at work so maybe I have a little bit going on but since that moment I'm doing pushups all the fucking time.

    I guess I don't believe that girls actually like muscles because it's too uh obvious.

  • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    That's awesome.

    I've been thinking about trying it for a while now, but needing multiple pictures is kinda holding me back. I'm not really depressed and don't hate myself anymore and am now okay with, or even positive, about how I look. But I was always pretty uncomfortable with taking pictures of myself and that hasn't really gone away despite everything social getting much better for me.

  • Lussy [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Please, do not, under any circumstances, start online dating to improve your self esteem. Literal worst advice you could ever give to anyone, I’m sorry OP.

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      the self-esteem comes from believing in myself enough to think I can weather the blows to my ego striking out on this website will inflict on me

      I'm also trying to go out and meet people IRL but I'm in my 30s and it's hard to make friends, especially when you really sucked at it for most of your life

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I signed up for OKCupid because I can use their website instead of the app even on my phone and I tried it before back in the day

      I have "liked" a bunch of women but not messaged any of them yet because I am a coward :biden-forgor:

  • LeninWalksTheWorld [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    No, I refuse to prostrate myself on a digital altar of consumption for the dalliances of strangers. Those fuckers can talk to me in person if they want to start a relationship with me.

    Not trying to make you feel bad- y'all should do what you think is best for you. But remember self-esteem does not only come from the approval of others. You can find and generate it from within yourself as well.

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The website's just for finding the people to talk to in person

      I also refuse to give them their $35 and will continue coming up against their usability wall and stopping for the day

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    UPDATE: Websites seem pretty trash so far, I can see why people don't like them, trying to charge me $35 to see people who already liked my profile

    Tomorrow if karaoke with my coworkers happens I will attempt to talk to one of these "wömen" people :tequila-sunset: probably after singing something, wish me luck in not making a complete fool of myself