Basically people are looking for companionship. Someone that’s fun to be around, that makes them feel good about themselves, and that they can confide in.
The catch is that what people find fun, what makes them feel good, and what creates trust is all specific to them and you really can’t force it. You can’t be something you’re not. The only thing you can do is be your best self. If that’s not enough then it isn’t and it’s not going to work long term anyway.
I may make a target for myself saying this, but do get angry about this a lot in general, tbh.
Why?
the other person doesn’t really see me as an individual, with my own particular set of experiences, limitations, & available choices in life.
Nobody does initially, it takes time to get to know someone and even then you cannot know someone else fully the way they know themselves.
“Everything is a competition.”
Like you said, it really isn't. I certainly didn't mean to say it was. You're not competing against anyone, but consider what it is that I said by thinking about the opposite:
Would you enter into a relationship with someone who
You can't trust enough to confide in
Who's not fun to be around
Who makes you feel bad about yourself
Of course you wouldn't. Those are kind of disqualifying.
Or doesn’t, and that’s okay too.
Basically people are looking for companionship. Someone that’s fun to be around, that makes them feel good about themselves, and that they can confide in.
The catch is that what people find fun, what makes them feel good, and what creates trust is all specific to them and you really can’t force it. You can’t be something you’re not. The only thing you can do is be your best self. If that’s not enough then it isn’t and it’s not going to work long term anyway.
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Why?
Nobody does initially, it takes time to get to know someone and even then you cannot know someone else fully the way they know themselves.
Like you said, it really isn't. I certainly didn't mean to say it was. You're not competing against anyone, but consider what it is that I said by thinking about the opposite:
Would you enter into a relationship with someone who
Of course you wouldn't. Those are kind of disqualifying.