Help me settle a bet plz

  • Changeling [it/its]
    hexagon
    ·
    2 years ago

    It’s hard to capture this properly. There’s a big difference between an agender person saying, “I don’t feel my gender ever” and a cis person saying it, which happens pretty often, but for different reasons. The difference is that cis people are more likely to have their gender passively affirmed by society, whereas an agender person experiences the dissonance resulting from being treating as if their gender exists when it doesn’t. It’s kinda the difference between not being conscious of your kidneys because they’re functioning normally and not being conscious of your kidneys because they’ve been removed.

    And then of course there are likely people with an agender experience who haven’t gone through that self discovery yet and consider themselves cis. Truth is the gender spectrum is a massive oversimplification.

    • MF_COOM [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      2 years ago

      Thank you for the effort-post, but I think you're missing my point maybe? Like I am aware of everything you wrote but that's not really what I'm getting at.

      My point is there's a difference between thinking "I feel like a man" and thinking "the category 'man' doesn't have any meaningful characteristics or boundaries to me, beyond the understanding that some people impose their expectations of their conception of 'manness' on other people."

      • Changeling [it/its]
        hexagon
        ·
        2 years ago

        I think I relate to what you’re saying. When I used to try and think of manhood without patriarchal toxicity, it was literally an empty category. This was distressing to me, though, because I considered myself a man at the time. I found a lot of value in reading the writing of trans men. The way that trans men construct masculinity put a lot into perspective for me, I guess. It’s not a fence, it’s a beacon.