So far in my life I've managed to not pick up any, never even had a close call. My partner (open relationship of almost 2 years) recently told me they are going to a group event. They are really excited for this event and have really wanted to do one for a long time. They were telling me about it with a bright smile so I was happy for them. Then they said someone in the group "had herpes but is managing it well." I want to trust my partner to know their other partners well enough, but this is a new scenario for me. I know it is technically manageable but it makes me a bit uncomfortable knowing they are going to take this risk.

I'm looking for advice. What do I do? Do I tell my partner not to go? Is herpes fully manageable and not a concern at all? Does that matter if I don't want any more things in my life to manage? Is using protection safe enough on its own or do people need to take the anti-viral suppressants to really make sure? Can I even ask someone if they're taking it? (The person lives in an area where that is provided without charge if that changes anything.) I don't know. I feel like I'm not being true to the progressive (call me a lib rn, whatever) values I claim if I tell my partner not to go while worrying about an apperently manageable STD.

  • regularassbitch [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    i don't know if you believe the state department's line on genital herpes but it's looking kinda grim

    Infections are transmitted through contact with HSV in herpes lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be shed from normal-appearing oral or genital mucosa or skin. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during genital contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. However, receiving oral sex from a person with an oral HSV-1 infection can result in getting a genital HSV-1 infection. Transmission commonly occurs from contact with an infected partner who does not have visible lesions and who may not know that he or she is infected. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10.2% of days, compared to 20.1% of days among those with symptomatic infections.