So far in my life I've managed to not pick up any, never even had a close call. My partner (open relationship of almost 2 years) recently told me they are going to a group event. They are really excited for this event and have really wanted to do one for a long time. They were telling me about it with a bright smile so I was happy for them. Then they said someone in the group "had herpes but is managing it well." I want to trust my partner to know their other partners well enough, but this is a new scenario for me. I know it is technically manageable but it makes me a bit uncomfortable knowing they are going to take this risk.
I'm looking for advice. What do I do? Do I tell my partner not to go? Is herpes fully manageable and not a concern at all? Does that matter if I don't want any more things in my life to manage? Is using protection safe enough on its own or do people need to take the anti-viral suppressants to really make sure? Can I even ask someone if they're taking it? (The person lives in an area where that is provided without charge if that changes anything.) I don't know. I feel like I'm not being true to the progressive (call me a lib rn, whatever) values I claim if I tell my partner not to go while worrying about an apperently manageable STD.
I have herpes, I got it before I was in open relationships, it has never kept me from pursuing relationships, I was always open with people about it.
I think its okay to ask what the person is doing to control it, do they take daily valcyclovir? Would it be too much to ask to like double up their dose a few days before?
Its not that big of a deal, but it def freaked me out when I first found out I had it.