I fucking hate when basic ass jobs require experience.

All the bars and restaurants in my area say "experience essential". MOTHERFUCKER WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE, NOBODY WILL HIRE US FOR THE FIRST TIME.

And then they complain about "nobody wants to work anymore." God I fucking hate capitalists

This serves a filtering function to make sure they hire someone with lots of technical skills and no respect for themselves or their work.

Edit: Omfg it's my cake day, time to make a new name

lie on your resume

lie, steal, redact, plunder this corpseland as much as you can

On the bright side if they can't write an ad they probably won't be able to tell you lied on your resume

Love reading job listing that’s a giant run on sentence because HR didn’t bother checking to see if it’s a list before submitting

You worked at Twitter as a lead project engineer for the last 6 years. Make up a project.

Visualising running into the boss like this

Guess who's searching for a job right now :agony-minion:

I remember looking at a listing for a warehouse job, then at the bottom it said:

IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SEO IS DON'T APPLY

Fucking lie

Say you worked for circuit city, then say you worked at twitter. Just lie