i gotta be real with you, i feel like there are some people faking being trans on reddit. i know literally no one like this IRL and i know hundreds of trans people personally
like there are libs and libertarians but even they feel like the state is pushing us to kill ourselves or worse
yeah without a doubt. the volume of it and the upvotes from lurkers makes it so draining though. also like what are we going to do, start asking for proof someone is trans? I'd be terrified of discouraging someone from transitioning. idk when I have the energy I just take them at face value and dismantle their points until they're forced to admit that these policies are genocidal and that the courts are not going to stop it, short of a literal act of god. but at best that gets one person to reconsider and no lurker reads below the fold.
the amount of libs lurking in trans spaces looking at us like we're zoo animals and poking us with sticks is incredibly fucking frustrating. if those people were really trans id bet they have zero experience in the outside world and are questioning. even i had some stupid takes before i went full time and actually started visibly transing my gender and i was a commie from the start.
its a bit of a waste of time to deal with trans spaces on reddit. its better to get involved locally in the trans community. i do resource work for our local LGBT orgs, who always need volunteers. you meet a ton of cool people and you get to help people out in a rough spot. feels like a way better use of time than our lame ass local DSA at least. it always feels good to help someone get their act together and then they ask you why youre so generous and helpful. i just shrug my shoulders and say 'im a communist' and it clicks for a lot of them.
yeah for sure. I swear to god 75% of people left of DSA in my area are some flavor of trans or non-binary. hell, the circle of people I normally work had - peak - 3 whole cis het people that I know of. I swear to god there's no faster way to crack eggs en masse than to transition in front of new leftists lol.
yeah, there's people that just come off as really fishy, and i feel a few of them are sock puppets ran by cissie trolls, but i think most are just hyperdamaged 4chan /tttt/ users. :reddit-logo: also has a frighteningly high number of transmeds given the average age of the users there. and when i come across somebody in a trans subreddit giving off real eyebrow raising vibes and check their post history, there's almost always subs like r/transmed, r/truscum, r/AGP or r/ttttrans
You wouldn't come across these people irl because they either don't leave their basement at all or because they boymode until they can go stealth and don't want anything to do with offline queer communities.
yeah i'm not judging anybody who does that just in case it wasn't clear. I don't want to pull the "i have stealth friends" card here, but i do have stealth friends and i understand why they live this way and i do not mind that. But what i'm getting at is, with these friends of mine, i always get the sense they're just doing that out of security and practicality concerns and that they are generally fine with the way they are, and in particular all of them are part of (and consider themselves part of) the queer community.
Whereas these people i was talking about ... they hate being trans in itself and i always get the impression they're deeply ashamed of it, too. As if they're not stealth out of security or practicality concerns, but because they're embarassed to be who they are. As if they do not dare to be out because they cannot overcome massive amounts of internalized transphobia. idk if that makes sense.
Yeah that makes sense. I mean, tbh, I do hate being trans because who wouldn't want to avoid all these surgeries and stuff? But that hate doesnt extend to other trans people, I'm all about helping other trans people get their shit together and making sure they're doing things safely. I also love our community at large, it connects you to a global shared history. Its wild to be able to instantly click with some random lady from rural China for example
I do hate being trans because who wouldn’t want to avoid all these surgeries and stuff?
Here's the thing, the surgeries and stuff aren't due to you being trans, they're due to you inhabiting a body incongruent with your gender identity. Yes, that's usually a pretty big part of trans people's experiences, but it's not necessarily the case for all trans people. If you're NB, have a fairly androgynous gender identity and a fairly androgynous body, you may not require any medical transitioning. If you've been on puberty blockers since 11, started HRT after that and do not want bottom surgery, then what's there to worry about in that regard? You just need to take some medication permanently, a ton of people do that.
Yeah, i get it, these are edge cases. But they show an important point, that it's gender dysphoria / gender incongruence that sucks and not being trans. That's a pretty big deal in my book. It's the key to stop pathologizing ourselves and to understand the actual pathology here, the condition that actually deserves treatment, which is not being transitioned as far as we need to. I understand that some people feel invalidated when i tell them i do not hate being trans at all and am actually proud of who i am, what i am. That i feel blessed for learning these things about myself and others. That i see the cracking of my egg as the biggest moment of liberation in my life, where they perceive it as a catastrophy. But if i would not have been shown that being trans can mean to be happy, i would still be an egg, i would still be depressed and bordering on suicidal and would have substance abuse issues and depersonalization and weird somatoform disorders and all that other shit that came from me desperately holding back the truth in an attempt to protect myself.
Dysphoria is awful, repression is awful, minority stress is awful. But while all of these can (and frequently do) follow from being trans, being trans in itself doesn't do anybody any harm. And when we focus on transness being our problem, it means we get upset about the one thing we can't change, and that's also at the core of who we are, instead of getting upset about things that we potentially can change or at least mitigate and learn how to live with.
itd be great to fuckin have been on puberty blockers. such a tragedy :screm: highkey jealous of people that had supporting family that saw the signs and got them help. i pass but im still fucked up over the small things that changed in my face.
i mean yeah i agree with you. still sucks that i gotta be on meds and stuff.
i gotta be real with you, i feel like there are some people faking being trans on reddit. i know literally no one like this IRL and i know hundreds of trans people personally
like there are libs and libertarians but even they feel like the state is pushing us to kill ourselves or worse
yeah without a doubt. the volume of it and the upvotes from lurkers makes it so draining though. also like what are we going to do, start asking for proof someone is trans? I'd be terrified of discouraging someone from transitioning. idk when I have the energy I just take them at face value and dismantle their points until they're forced to admit that these policies are genocidal and that the courts are not going to stop it, short of a literal act of god. but at best that gets one person to reconsider and no lurker reads below the fold.
the amount of libs lurking in trans spaces looking at us like we're zoo animals and poking us with sticks is incredibly fucking frustrating. if those people were really trans id bet they have zero experience in the outside world and are questioning. even i had some stupid takes before i went full time and actually started visibly transing my gender and i was a commie from the start.
its a bit of a waste of time to deal with trans spaces on reddit. its better to get involved locally in the trans community. i do resource work for our local LGBT orgs, who always need volunteers. you meet a ton of cool people and you get to help people out in a rough spot. feels like a way better use of time than our lame ass local DSA at least. it always feels good to help someone get their act together and then they ask you why youre so generous and helpful. i just shrug my shoulders and say 'im a communist' and it clicks for a lot of them.
yeah for sure. I swear to god 75% of people left of DSA in my area are some flavor of trans or non-binary. hell, the circle of people I normally work had - peak - 3 whole cis het people that I know of. I swear to god there's no faster way to crack eggs en masse than to transition in front of new leftists lol.
community building projects are so rewarding.
yeah, there's people that just come off as really fishy, and i feel a few of them are sock puppets ran by cissie trolls, but i think most are just hyperdamaged 4chan /tttt/ users. :reddit-logo: also has a frighteningly high number of transmeds given the average age of the users there. and when i come across somebody in a trans subreddit giving off real eyebrow raising vibes and check their post history, there's almost always subs like r/transmed, r/truscum, r/AGP or r/ttttrans
You wouldn't come across these people irl because they either don't leave their basement at all or because they boymode until they can go stealth and don't want anything to do with offline queer communities.
Tbh boymoding till stealth is a really safe bet, I did that. Still doesn't save you from the awkward period where you are breaking your androgyny
yeah i'm not judging anybody who does that just in case it wasn't clear. I don't want to pull the "i have stealth friends" card here, but i do have stealth friends and i understand why they live this way and i do not mind that. But what i'm getting at is, with these friends of mine, i always get the sense they're just doing that out of security and practicality concerns and that they are generally fine with the way they are, and in particular all of them are part of (and consider themselves part of) the queer community.
Whereas these people i was talking about ... they hate being trans in itself and i always get the impression they're deeply ashamed of it, too. As if they're not stealth out of security or practicality concerns, but because they're embarassed to be who they are. As if they do not dare to be out because they cannot overcome massive amounts of internalized transphobia. idk if that makes sense.
Yeah that makes sense. I mean, tbh, I do hate being trans because who wouldn't want to avoid all these surgeries and stuff? But that hate doesnt extend to other trans people, I'm all about helping other trans people get their shit together and making sure they're doing things safely. I also love our community at large, it connects you to a global shared history. Its wild to be able to instantly click with some random lady from rural China for example
Here's the thing, the surgeries and stuff aren't due to you being trans, they're due to you inhabiting a body incongruent with your gender identity. Yes, that's usually a pretty big part of trans people's experiences, but it's not necessarily the case for all trans people. If you're NB, have a fairly androgynous gender identity and a fairly androgynous body, you may not require any medical transitioning. If you've been on puberty blockers since 11, started HRT after that and do not want bottom surgery, then what's there to worry about in that regard? You just need to take some medication permanently, a ton of people do that.
Yeah, i get it, these are edge cases. But they show an important point, that it's gender dysphoria / gender incongruence that sucks and not being trans. That's a pretty big deal in my book. It's the key to stop pathologizing ourselves and to understand the actual pathology here, the condition that actually deserves treatment, which is not being transitioned as far as we need to. I understand that some people feel invalidated when i tell them i do not hate being trans at all and am actually proud of who i am, what i am. That i feel blessed for learning these things about myself and others. That i see the cracking of my egg as the biggest moment of liberation in my life, where they perceive it as a catastrophy. But if i would not have been shown that being trans can mean to be happy, i would still be an egg, i would still be depressed and bordering on suicidal and would have substance abuse issues and depersonalization and weird somatoform disorders and all that other shit that came from me desperately holding back the truth in an attempt to protect myself.
Dysphoria is awful, repression is awful, minority stress is awful. But while all of these can (and frequently do) follow from being trans, being trans in itself doesn't do anybody any harm. And when we focus on transness being our problem, it means we get upset about the one thing we can't change, and that's also at the core of who we are, instead of getting upset about things that we potentially can change or at least mitigate and learn how to live with.
itd be great to fuckin have been on puberty blockers. such a tragedy :screm: highkey jealous of people that had supporting family that saw the signs and got them help. i pass but im still fucked up over the small things that changed in my face.
i mean yeah i agree with you. still sucks that i gotta be on meds and stuff.
THANK YOU. people look at me funny when I say I love being trans.
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