If that was his first time kissing he's probably freaking the fuck out at what to do now in the relationship roadmap since he's never gotten this far before
I wouldn’t listen to Reddit. Most of Reddit is insecure young people.
thats the reddit response to every thing relationship related. i feel like its its liteeally always "holy shit girl/dude, stop talking to them/break up with/divorce them right this fucking second" theyre just incredibly useless for any kind of marriage/dating/relationship
lawyer up, hit the gym, leave your wife, and evict your kids
- reddit every time someone complains of even the mildest of annoyences
I mean knowing reddit's political opinions I'm not surprised at their complete lack of ability to view things from his side
I do agree with the other comments here though that it is definitely still his responsible to communicate properly with you and that no matter what his reasons may be, the relationship can't really continue without him pushing it forward with you
The best advice you're going to get is to chill out and pretend it doesn't bother you
it's because you care about what he thinks of you more than you care about other things that make you happy and you gotta Not Do That and just focus on living your life and if he's really just busy he'll make time for you and if not you'll be living your life and probably meet someone else
i kinda have a lot of other priorities in life too and can’t put you in such a forefront.
It's possible that he realized instant texting back isn't sustainable for him, it's possible you're right and he's less into you after hanging out. The minds of others are unknowable (and inexperienced freshman boys are notoriously poor communicators). If I were you I'd explore other options and keep this guy on the back burner - he can always text you if he wants. Have fun! It's freshman year.
Agree with everything except the first part
It’s possible that he realized instant texting back isn’t sustainable for him
He's definitely making an excuse, sometimes you can't text back immediately (especially at work or in lecture), but if it takes more than a few hours to write a few quick words to someone, there's definitely something up
Not saying he lost interest, there could definitely be other reasons. Maybe he's overwhelmed and the idea of a relationship is scary, so he wants to take it slow. Maybe he needs time to know he feels. Maybe he likes you but doesn't have the energy to fully commit to a relationship at the moment (which you should also move on from, in that case). Hell he could be going through something right now
And yeah, @mar_k don't let this consume you, but I'd recommend waiting a week or two for things to get better. If they don't, text him you'd prefer to cut things off because he's not showing interest in you, then move on completely unless he sends something genuine asking for a second chance. And you should be a priority at least somewhere on the list for him. If you end up talking more and you feel like he's only sort of into you, let him know you're not going to continue like that.
I sometimes take half a day to respond to Tinder matches, sometimes you just don't have the energy in the tank. Most texts are nbd for me but with a new person (or a friend in crisis, etc.) these are very thoughtful messages because you don't want to screw it up so there's a social/emotional load. It's probably not what's going on with OP's guy, but it's possible.
Outcome independence.
Act like, whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'.
It could be sexual inexperience, he could be shy and know what to do next, he could be exceptionally busy, or any other possibility your imagination can make up.
Usually though when one's imagination takes over, it produces some pretty elaborate scenarios, that tend to blame oneself or think of extreme possibilities.
However he's doing a pretty poor job of communicating. Imo if someone is into you, even if they are busy, they'll make time for you. If he was a consistently poor texter, then I'd think differently. But his behavior has changed.
They sound like excuses for avoiding the conversation to me. Why that might be, we have no idea. But it's fair to ask why.
Sure you don't want to come off clingy but also you need to respect your feelings and time too. I would say something like, "Hey I know you've been busy, but I feel like you've kind of been distant ever since the last time we hung out. Is everything ok?"
Sounds like this is causing you anxiety, if he isn't at the same level of desire to communicate that will make things hard for you. I'd recommend keeping an ear open but to move on and see if you can find someone else
