Like, it's probably more noticeable that you don't have any romantic or sexual relationships than it would be if you don't have any true, close, platonic connections. Romantic and sexual relationships have things that are very obvious and for the most part, exclusive to them, such as kissing, making out, sex, etc. Platonic relationships that are true and close are not as visible, they're more feelings on the inside (not to say that there's none of those feelings involved with romantic and sexual relationships). If you look exclusively at the activities done with a platonic friendship, it's not very different from an acquaintanceship, or an activity partner.
I've met people who claim they have friends, but they're just coworkers they talk to a bit, guys they play games with, or guys they see at the sports bar a lot. Not people who actually support each other or any true connection. Now granted, there's nothing wrong with having those acquaintanceships or activity partners, and it can be argued that they're necessary for a fulfilling life, but they're not the same as a true connection or friendship. If you've never had that or hadn't had it in a while, it can be hard to tell what that feels like.
The only way to make these connections is through social skills, which a lot of people lack. They lack social skills, so they don't make connections, platonic or romantic. Since romantic and sexual connections have more exclusive activities, it's more easy to notice them than the lack of true friends. So I'm wondering if all this talk about the lack of romance and sex is really just poor social skills.
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Metaphor is looking for clean water in a desert vs in a swamp. If all you tinder messages are never replied to or are replied to with "send nudes" or similar, you get the same amount of desirable responses
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It's not a physical need where they'd die of anything other than suicide, but it's part of most accepted hierarchies of needs,
I think it's better to just accept dating sucks for both men and women, but for different reasons. In my view the largest difference is that women unlike men face actual real physical danger.
this. If a date goes badly for a man, he’s depressed. If a date goes badly for me, I wind up being assaulted or worse.
Even then it’s not worth playing “who has it worse”, because honestly patriarchy fucking sucks for everyone, even if it is structured to benefit wealthy men.
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If you meet up with someone on Tinder for a date that is by definition not a random person. I think you're also mixing up things. This thread has nothing to do with gang violence, or just general violence. Its about dating.
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Yeah, that's why it's a metaphor and not an actual description. I'm talking about how incel types are like "I wish I'd get catcalled" when women talk about it. Both situations for online dating mean you are unlikely to find a fulfilling relationship, just as the person in the desert and the swamp both lack drinkable water. And comparing sex/romance to water is not something I invented. See: the word "thirsty"
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humans are social animals and most of us need companionship and wither away without it. what's really the difference between dying of thirst over a few days and dying of misery over several years?
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nah i'm only still alive because i'm a coward
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it's weird you focused on trying to disect the metaphor instead of actually talking about her point but ok
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there's a lot of weird going on in this comment and i don't have the energy or desire to pull it apart or argue about it lol
I'll just say that dating for women is distinctly not easier. our rates of being murdered / assaulted / etc by a dude are painfully high.
most dating apps are a bunch of noise with little signal because a lot of guys will swipe on everyone to see who bites. the amount of unsolicited dick pics is nauseating.
source: briefly tried dating men online, went back to only dating women.
i'd probably risk death for a hug at this point tbh.
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In practice thats... It's complicated. I've known a lot of beautiful, employed, interesting women who should have every advantage in finding someone cool they vibe with, but what actually tends to happen is they get deluged with so much unwanted attention that actually finding someone genuine becomes very difficult.
Men often don't get any responses on dating apps. Women, on the other hand, often get huge, overwhelming numbers. And many of them are gross, upsetting, and unwanted.
It is actually fairly difficult for a woman to date casually. There is a non-zero chance any man they interact with will try to violently ruin their life. Or just like be misogynistic and bad in bed. Plus they gotta do their makeup, and every together thing.
They have so much more stress to deal with than me in finding partners
#elevatorgate , the scandal that destroyed the Atheism+ movement
These last two paragraphs - this is The Market for Lemons. Apps were such a fucking mistake
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How could it be easier for women than men? If there’s a number of single men, then shouldn’t there be a roughly equal number of single women?