the one I think of immediately is that my dad would always say “stop being such a girl” when I complained about things. I picked up the phrase when I was young without thinking about it

then I said it to someone in elementary school and they said “what’s wrong with being a girl” and I was like wait yeah wtf why am I saying this

    • GreatBearShark [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      goddamn, yeah that’s a huge one I’m still unlearning. or any emotion, for that matter.

      when we had a relative die, my dad would always tell us to “be strong” for them, which basically meant acting like nothing happened and not mourning together

      • LumberHero [he/him]
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        4 years ago

        It’s a good trait wrapped in a lot of bullshit about productivity. Mourning a loved one is good, it is natural, it is healthy, and we must be able to be strong enough to persevere and continue our own lives. It is a combination of sadness and stoic reality that you are deeply sad that this person is gone, and you deserve to be sad, but you have to continue living your own life because no amount of sadness will bring that person back. At the same time, this perverse system expects us to mourn for three days and then get back to work (maybe a week) when mourning for a loss can take weeks before you truly feel “normal” and even that’s a stretch depending on the loss.

    • Mitski [she/her,they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      funny enough i was listening to this elliott smith song with the same title just as i read this comment...