unironically can't bring myself to hate her though because she was one of the people who made me start to see some of the cracks in capitalist realism
unironically can't bring myself to hate her though because she was one of the people who made me start to see some of the cracks in capitalist realism
Referring to everyone as the singular they to avoid any sort of prejudicial connotations is prejudicial, actually.
This is not "referring to everyone", this is not talking about an unspecified mass where they/them is the safe choice, this is referring to a particular trans person not using they/them. In a situation like this, where you can't look up her pronouns in her bio and therefore misgender her accidentally, it's obviously a different story than when you're misgendering her on twitter or w/e, which is why i'm commenting directly instead of just reporting for transphobia. And yes, i do that immediately when somebody they/thems me on here, and that will usually result in a ban. Because my fucking pronouns are right next to my name. Always using they/them is not "avoiding prejudicial connotations", it is refusing to use somebody's actual pronouns. It is misgendering with an air of deniability and it always happens when trans women piss somebody off. As soon as we have a take somebody disagrees with, we stop being women for them. idgaf if pointing that out inconveniences somebody, idgaf if it runs counter to the intuitions of people who misunderstand what gender abolition means, it needs to be said because it keeps happening even on here.
singular they is for when you don't know someone's pronouns
or if they prefer them, like me
I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt, and assume if OP meant to misgender contra, OP would've used masculine pronouns.
(And not self evidently clear, to me at least, that contra would use fem pronouns.)
Terfs do the they/them misgenderinjg thing all the time when they want plausible deniability, it's incredibly naive and completely removed from reality to assume that transphobia, especially lowkey internalized transphobia that people are in denial about, always has to be blatantly obvious.
Regardless of that, the only reasonable and not inherently transphobic reaction to misgendering somebody is to politely correct yourself. Getting snarky or starting a debate about this where you argue why it was ok to misgender a trans person means you have issues with this that you need to work through.
she's a very public trans woman on the record about how much she/her pronouns mean to her. unless you're going to do this to cis people as well, don't do it to binary trans people.