Most people I know who have escaped their abusers know exactly what their position is, even if they have to push it from their mind to function day to day. They are prisoners. If they do not comply, harm will come to them. Leaving is not compliance. They are not allowed. Maybe Hilary’s prison guard was gentler than mine. Her cell was definitely comfier. But I also got mine to surrender parental rights.

So are you wrong to not feel bad for her? I don’t really care, tbh. I don’t think empathy is an obligation, either to give it or to receive it. Some people get more of it than they deserve, some less. My guess is that none of us have a good enough read on the situation to really say and none of us know them well enough for it to matter to them what we think or feel. We dehumanize the bourgeoisie all the time. Literally quote Disco Elysium and say they’re not human. Talk about how they deserve to be shot or set on fire or buried in mass graves. So maybe it’s just that this situation feels more uncomfortable to do that because it’s more personal? Lots of us at least know people who have experienced abuse. Not a lot of us know someone who’s been thrown in a mass grave. Either way, it’s probably not something I would advertise to a large group like this. Even if I logically know you wouldn’t say the same about me because my abuser wasn’t a wealthy fascist mouthpiece, it still just kinda… feels not great, you know?