Oh dear... I just got an idea for the most fucked cartoon marketed for girls aged four to seven. It's going to be named Princess Butterscotch and her magical friends. It's going to be one of these cutesy cartoons where all colors are bright, all edges are rounded and everyone talks in a high-pitched voice.

In the cartoon Princess Butterscotch has to run the British empire with the help of her friends lord Peach, lord Strawberry and lord Cherry, each representing a branch of the military as well as her friend lady Cupcake who represents the police. All of them are cute adorable children with big eyes. The villain of the show is a grumpy old man with an eerie semblance to Jeremy Corbyn who is jealous that the lords doesn't want to be his friends because he doesn't want them to have fun dropping bombs on brown people.

Princess Butterscotch and her friends will face challenges like tummyaches from eating too much candy to insecurity over sleeping alone in your own bed to send rebel groups trying to kick them out of their countries but eventually they overcome their challenges through teamwork, positive thinking and the magic of friendship.

I'm expecting a call from Disney at any moment.