I FUCKING HATE JACK. FUCKING ENGLISH BASTARD.
Why does Jack sell his family cow for 'magic' beans??
Why does he then proceed to take advantage of the kindness given to him by the giant's wife?? She gives him food every time his smarmy ass climbs up the beanstalk and then lies to her husband three times to cover for his pasty ass so he doesn't get ground into human flour. How does the englishman return this kindness?? He first steals their gold. Okay you broke bitch, fair enough. Don't climb up that beanstalk again. Oh wait, you're doing it again??? You're stealing their golden egg laying hen??? Surely this will ensure your happiness and prosperity for decades. You will cut down the beanstalk and save everyone further trouble, yes??
No. You climb up a third time, "hullo luv 'ave you goit any bread or mushy peas for me" and the giant's wife, in her kindness feeds you a third time and hides you from her husband. "Oi, do you 'ave a loicense for that harp?! No? I best take it, innit" and, in his rage, the giant chases your scrawny ass halfway down the beanstalk. but instead of running away for good once you're home free, you chop the beanstalk down and kill the giant?! you've ruined an entire marriage you thieving bastard
