No preamble today, you all know what this is by now. As I sew a Cthulhu patch onto my vest, I just wanted to check in with my favorite comrades! This is your space to talk and vent!
A lot of you remember that show I had last week with the people who don't like me. It actually went pretty horrible for my partner, not so much for me. I walked out during the performances of the people in question, and the 3rd person just walked right past me without saying anything, and I had my best friend with me so it ended up being a fun, drunken/high evening for me, in some respects.
My partner tho...one of the performers (who I fucked things up with) had a mental break right before the last act, was screaming and crying about how they didn't wanna do it. I can't help but wonder if my presence played a part in that. Partner isn't holding the break against them, but they haven't reached out since to say anything at all about it. My partner produced and directed the show, so they won't be inviting them back. On top of that, they ended up losing money on the show that they worked hard for, and they found out that some other people in their community were trying to poach the venue, which upset them. ON TOP OF THAT - they're coming off Lexapro, so it hasn't been an easy week.
Beyond that, I've been making new friends, some of them from Hexbear, some of them from Lex. Talking with someone right now who is spitting Marx quotes at me and I'm just like....oh yeah, let's fucking do this. Had a GREAT day on Saturday doing mutual aid work and then hanging out. My partner seems to be working on us doing ENM/poly stuff in a positive way, so that's cool. Band practice tonight, rest tomorrow, and then back to distributing food on Saturday.
Hope you're all well!
:High Five: Good luck with going up on your meds, I know a lot of times it can be a really shitty couple of days.
Thanks! They're absolutely going smoothly, just need to figure out the meds for my heart rate.
Have you tried propranolol? It helps me with the bi-polar twitchyness a lot and it regulates your heart rate with like no side effects.
That's what my doc just gave me actually, that and a higher lemotrigine dose. I'm gonna try a higher dose of the lols soon and see if maybe I just need more than 20mg. How much do you take? My partner does 40mg a few times a day, thinking I might give that a shot.
I'm on 200mg of lemotrigine twice a day and 120 of propranolol in the morning. Venlafaxine is what I just got added that been helping so much.
I start 200mg lemotrigine in 2 weeks, just went to 150 today. I'll try more propanolol soon. Maybe right now, cause I can feel things going in my chest a little bit even though I'm just sitting here sewing.