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jesus comrade, i'm so sorry. i hope things start looking up soon :deeper-sadness:
That isn't fun, as someone who's been suicidal for years, but starting feel a little better these days, you have my empathy and sympathy. :meow-hug:
I do wanna give props to your cool evocative writing style. And even if they don't really get it, it is nice to have people in your life that care about you enough to come and be kind.
Always sad to see a beloved pet go - any thoughts on getting more?
"No fuckin way was I answering the door. Ironically, I didn’t want to get shot. My therapist called the Sargeant or something, I can’t remember exactly who, and assured them I was okay and that their “service” was no longer needed."
Nothing like a near death experience to realize you don't actually want to die right then. Something similar happened to me a few years back. I have had varying degrees of suicidal ideation for almost two decades now, but when I had a near death experience I was 100% sure I didn't want to actually die; or at least not right then and not like that. It was a moment of clarity I try to tap into when times get dark for me, as they sometimes do. I don't know if I'd call it healthy, but it's gotten me this far.
i also have a dog buried in a corner of my yard. died in a fire. want to plant something on top of him but am afraid ill disturb him so ive got some compost going instead
