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  • Sea_Gull [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I'm actively trying to unpack this. I don't want to change it, just so that I can pick up on red flags.

      • daisy
        ·
        1 year ago

        I think it's fine if both people are independent adults.

      • Sea_Gull [they/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        No, I just have some personal issues and I am vulnerable to people pleasing. I don't want a guy to pick up on my 'daddy issues' and enter an unbalanced dynamic.

        I think older people can be attractive without it reflecting anything unhealthy about the person appreciating them.

        I'm sorry if I gave off vibes of stigmatizing or judging. I just meant I want to reflect on why I'm drawn to older men and seeing what energy I'm giving off.

          • Sea_Gull [they/them]
            ·
            1 year ago

            I saw a quote about how fucked up it is that people are assigned 'daddy issues' as a punchline instead of putting blame on shitty dads/masculinity.

            • Frank [he/him, he/him]
              ·
              1 year ago

              Right? How is it your fault if your parental figure was a jackass? And why would people mock that instead of trying to help?

            • daisy
              ·
              1 year ago

              That was literally a joke in the movie Hot Shots. The psychiatrist played by Valeria Golino has a rubber stamp for "Paternal Conflict Syndrome".

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        It's more that liking younger people is often a red flag. Most, but not all, of the time if a dude is dating someone much younger than them he's got issues. I know some people with like 10-20 year age differences who are great for each other and have been together happily for years, but I also have known a lot of sketchy dudes who use 10-20 years of practice at social interactions to manipulate much younger people.