I will never be a leftist. I don’t care that Marx is right. I don’t care about dialectics, or Hegel, or socialism. I do not care that the American Revolution was leftist, or that leftists support gun rights.

I will never forgive leftists and liberals for the things they have said. I will never forgive democrats (and I mean the voters!) calling Trump voters subhuman, calling us mentally ill, saying we should be forcibly sterilized, saying we should be stripped of human rights. I do not read right wing media. I do not watch Tucker Carlson. I have read democrats on Twitter and on Reddit and on their websites say these things. I have evidence.

I will never fucking forgive democrats on Reddit saying that Republican women deserve to have ectopic pregnancies. I will never forgive democrats on Reddit saying that its a good thing when Republican voters get Covid and die, and we shouldn’t be allowed to access medical care.

There was a tiny period of time I figured that we actually needed MORE leftism, we could throw all the Redditors and all these Democrats into labor camps for ableism, for believing in social darwinism, etc. Then I realized that the whole “institutional white supremacy” thing was just a lie people used, or if it wasn’t a lie, they didn’t care. People will talk about “institutional white supremacy” and turn around to cite the DSM or the FBI. Redditors and Democrats will spout actual Nazi race science about “stupid people dying” and then say my family deserves to die for being “racist”. Pol Pot was right.

Oh, but Democrats aren’t leftists. Yes, I fucking know this. The problem is the exact opposite: All leftists are Democrats. You tail the Democrats, you support Democrat policies in the name of reformism and when you ask a self-professed “socialist” what he believes socialism to be, the response is entirely within the Democrat model. What is socialism? What do the “radical” DSA and PSLers proclaim to be the glorious endgame of socialism? Medicare for All, of course. Social Security. Universal Basic Income. Let us go to the great Nordic states of much acclaim, what do self-proclaimed “socialists” support in Sweden, now that they have their healthcare and retirement? What is the next stage of reformism?

Anti-austerity. Defending Medicare and social security.

“Oh well, I’m an anarchist, but I mean there was a pandemic. How could we not have lockdowns? Oh well, I’m a leftist, but someone just has to do something about all the shootings. We need sensible gun control. I mean, I’m a leftist, but this one time the US security state is right because you know, those right wingers and stuff.”

You are Democrats. Every single one, unless you voted for Trump. It isn’t hard, that’s all you have to do. Oh, you’re a radical leftist? Okay, don’t vote for the Democrat. Vote for Trump. Oh, you can’t do that? Because of Medicare, right? I mean, I’m a radical leftist and hate Democrats, but at least they aren’t Republicans, right? I mean, Republicans are (checks Reddit dictionary) christo-fascist Putin loving anti-American communists. SOMEONE has to administer the bourgeois state, right? Don’t tell me you think we can overcome the bourgeois state, now you’re just a Putin lover trying to sow discord. We NEED the bourgeois state to give trans people legal rights, or gay people, or whatever. There is no other way society can be mediated. What do you think I am, some kind of right wing libertarian nutcase?

This is not the first time socialists have stepped down from their moment of historical necessity. Margaret Thatcher has shown you the roadmap for what must be done and you refuse to do it. You cling to your trade unions and your Ess Pay Day. You are Bernsteinians.

I am not a “MAGA communist.” If Haz wants to do entryism, here you go, sign up for your local Republican party committee, do some canvasing. He won’t, because he’s never worked a day in his fucking life. I was born in the Republican Party, he merely adopted it.

I know Marx was right. I know capitalism is bad for people. I even know that Marx actually thought capitalism was also liberatory. I know what socialism is, I know Obummercare isn’t socialism. I’ve read Foucault and Deleuze and I know that CRT isn’t real critical theory and the Frankfurt School was right. I simply don’t care.

There was a 4chan post going around a while ago, this guy complaining about leftists who refuse to educate people, basically saying that by the time someone finally sits down with that person and doesn’t insult them, they’ve fallen into the right wing hole and will never admit that Marx was right no matter how much theory you throw in their face because they will hold such contempt for leftists. It was objectively a little cringe, as all of those posts are. But the last line hit me, it was something to the effect of “These people would rather see the world burn than admit Marx was right because of the way they were treated”.

I do not care about “feminists” saying “haha male tears” or whatever (which is what the post was about). Though ironically it was the 2010s SJW culture that originally led me to take “facts don’t care about your feelings” to its logical conclusion, i.e. speculative realism/object oriented ontology.

But I will never forgive liberals for saying my family deserves to die. I would see the entire Earth burnt to a crisp, the planet left devoid of living things by capitalism before I admitted that anything adjacent to “leftism” was right.

Luckily, there is a way I can both support the destruction of the biosphere AND admit Marx was right.

His name is Nick Land.

  • Rojo27 [he/him]
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    1 year ago

    This is long enough to make me doubt that this person isn't a leftist.

  • MerryChristmas [any]
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    1 year ago

    This had me enthralled from start to finish. Beautiful shitposting. Truly artful.

  • solaranus
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    edit-2
    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
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    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I will never be a leftist. I don’t care that Marx is right. I don’t care about dialectics, or protests for worker's rights. I do not care for unions - for social justice or for trees. I will not hear an argument for making wage slaves free.

    I will never forgive leftists for the things they have said. While CO2 chokes the third world, I'll be comfy in my bed. I will never forgive democrats for calling Trump a cheeto. I will deport every Mexican. I will never eat a burrito.

    There was a tiny bit of time where I thought I could be lefty. Until I met a bisexual - ethereal and leggy. When she gave me the cold shoulder, I knew what I must do. I became the US president to betray the project and you too.

  • UlyssesT
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    edit-2
    11 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • Poogona [he/him]
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    1 year ago

    Once in a dnd group I didn't know very well, I made an offhand joke, something to the effect of "...and I learned it from the time traveling prophet, Nick Land."

    A guy across from me lit the fuck up and looked me in the eyes for like 10 seconds straight before bellowing an impressed "Oh-HOH!" Didn't say anything else about it but when I was getting into my car to leave, he drove past with his window down saying "Progress is a basilisk!"

    Point is I brought up Nick Land and it was someone's best day of the year. Like I don't know if he was gay but he looked ready to fuck when I brought up the guy.

  • Zb0 [she/her]
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    1 year ago

    Wonderful shitpost, I almost thought it was unironic