For all the new folks, welcome! I generally make these threads every so often to check in on people, let people vent, or share cool news they have.
So, come on in! What's been going on with you lately? How are you feeling about it?
Remember, you are loved :stalin-heart:
As for myself, my partner's brain med switch is NOT going well at all. I've been trying my best to take care of them, but I know we just gotta wait this out. Other than that, my drummer seems to have calmed down after this weekend, and we're back to writing stuff. Getting the fuck out of this city for the rest of our summer shows. Beyond that, starting gabapentin today for my heart, and after having tried some from my partner, it seems to work decently! Also, I can get back to running today now that a foot blister has healed.
I feel like I've been at various levels of depression for the last decade or so. It takes a lot of conscious effort for me to get out of the apartment and have any kind of social life, and when people ask "How are you?" I become anxious because I think I'm always answering something like "tired" or "surviving" or something, and I hate constantly being a drain on everyone around me.
It may take some effort, but at least you're doing it! Do you have anyone to talk to about this? Therapist or anyone?
I am a grad student right now and, in theory, the university allows me to book counseling appointments online, However, when I tried to do so, there were none available. I'm going to be optimistic and assume that this is a failure of the website, not of the counseling service.
Having said that, I am not optimistic about getting help any time soon. What I suspect is that I'll end up getting put on a waitlist. The last time I tried to get counseling through a university, it took months to get off the waitlist. When I do get off the waitlist, I might be able to get regular appointments for a few months before I have to get on the waitlist again.
Which again, causes me a bit of anxiety, because it puts into stark relief the fact that having someone to talk to is a luxury and I'm lucky if I can get it at all. It's a very zero-sum game, and if I get counseling, that means that someone else is being forced to wait -- in which case, what makes ME so deserving of help in a way that they aren't?
Also, it puts me in a mindset that I can't afford to screw this up, which just seems like an unhealthy attitude to go into counseling with. I hear people talk about the importance of being able to talk about anything in therapy, and I find myself having difficulty with that when I feel rushed and I know that it's only by a stroke of luck that I was able to get the appointment in the first place.
Mental healthcare i a gauntlet for sure. Hope you're able to find some help soon :meow-hug: