Because I think my worldview is so far removed from the average person’s it almost scares them away. Like the details in very minute things are just non-existent from their worldview, they don’t realize how harmful it actually is (long way of saying systemic
Now, I realize most people don’t look at the world like this. But it’s extremely hard for me not to. Leftists might be the only people who would be accepting of painfully ND (hi) people like myself.
Most of my friends are centrists, and I think that’s a bit of a problem
What happened for me was at some point I realized that nobody else was going to save me. I could be as kind and non-confrontational as can be, but when I bring up my problems - especially as they relate to neurodivergence - I'm always met with that same reaction you described. So while my natural inclination is to put others first, I'm having to consciously remind myself that it's not productive to expect reciprocity and that I can't be of much help to others if I'm drowning in my own shit.
Over the past year especially I've been working on not taking responsibility for other people's emotions and it is a challenge, but it's incredibly freeing when you can pull it off. Say what you want and if people don't react the way you hope then find some other people to say it to. Maybe it's a rotating cast and you never find the right group to call home, but at least you get to take the mask off, you know what I mean? I'd rather have honest conversations with strangers than pretend to be someone else with my friends.