My boyfriend, who I’ve long suspected might be attracted to men, got into a big fight at the club yesterday. I don’t know what to do.

For context, I am a female and have been with this boy for several years. He’s always reassured me that I am the perfect girl in his eyes. Only problem is, I’m not entirely sure if a girl is what he even wants.

For the past 6 months, my boyfriend has been attending BJJ classes once a week after finishing up his shift at Wendy’s. The first red flag in this story is that I suspect he has a different reason for going to these classes than learning how to fight. I pick him up after class every week, and on several occasions I have noticed that he has a huge erection coming out of class. At first I thought he might be getting turned on from wrestling with girls in this class, and I got really jealous. However, I quickly found out that the only people who attend this class are men, so my worries were put to rest. Until last night.

We were at the club to celebrate his recent accomplishment at work, where he was given the “employee of the month” award for the first time in his 6 year long career at Wendy’s. He was very proud of this and hence he decided to take me clubbing to celebrate. When we got there, he kept pushing me into a dark corner of the club, insisting that I deserve personal space as a woman and that he wants me to be safe. The problem is, on several occasions, I caught him brushing up against other men at the club - it looked like he was doing this hoping I wouldn’t notice from the awkward angle he kept pushing me towards. Eventually I got jealous and my previous suspicions regarding his “BJJ classes” resurfaced. Maybe he really is getting turned on by pressing his body against other men.

Things took a turn for the worse when he eventually got really drunk and started grinding on another man at the club. At this point he wasn’t even trying to hide this from me, presumably because of how drunk he was, as this grinding quickly turned into full blown twerking. The man, who was almost double my boyfriends size, was visibly upset by this, but to my surprise he was very polite in asking him to stop. In response, my boyfriend lashed out and pushed the guy to the ground, using the strength of his whole body. At this point I thought my boyfriend was gonna get killed as I saw the big guy standing up looking pretty pissed off, but what I didn’t even realise is that my boyfriends training partners from BJJ were at the club too. They came up and stopped the fight, before then taking my boyfriend away for a “chat”. I then didn’t see my boyfriend until the next morning, and he’s still refusing to talk to me.

Just wondering if this is a common occurance in the BJJ community?

https://www.reddit.com/r/martialarts/comments/15b8gij/my_boyfriend_who_ive_long_suspected_might_be/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2