Going to need world peace on my desk by tomorrow morning.

just a few threads to tie up and then history can be done for good

But he's getting the crap kicked out of him by Rumsfeld -- satellite conferences all the time: "I need more intelligence. I need to know what's going on. What is this thing you're calling an insurgency?"

"When are you going to get this thing wrapped up?" is the phrase I've heard Rumsfeld use. "When are you going to get this thing wrapped up?" Well, sometimes things don't get wrapped up. Sometimes crises last a long time. And the key is not to end the crisis, but to manage the crisis. I think that's what the U.S. military has moved to now in Iraq in 2006. - source

Please help. I'm killing a lot of people, and I got a lot of people asking questions.

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"issues with various countries" lmao

Is this a real memo? If so, what's the context? Either way, it's hilarious.

and we need it fast.

This reads like a comedy skit