Why can't you be more like pasta and rice 
Get one of these cheap thingies to steam food
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Chop the potatos evenly, and cook them way faster without loosing any sugars wasted in the cooking water, nor hydrating too much the potatoes (very important if you are making gnocci)
I do have one of those things, but it's pretty small for the amount of potatoes I usually cook- pretty sure I could only fit like three potatoes in mine.
I don't use it like in the picture, mine has little legs, so I get a big pot where it fits down to the bottom, fill with water till it almost reaches the holes and pile on two kg of diced potatoes on it with a lid on top
The legs on mine are so flimsy I fear they would snap under a heavier load but I might give it a go. How long do you steam your potatoes for?
What if instead of farms we had factories that pumped out millions of identical spuds
Even in chaos there's a surprising amount of order to things. In the case of potatoes I use my hands and fingers as a reference size guide for cooking, (ex size of my palm will take 7min to bake) if you want uniformity for cooking you have to force it here.
7 minutes?! I always end up boiling my taters for what feels like half an hour
I mean, what are you trying to do with them. I like cutting them into cubish pieces and par boiling for 5 minutes before frying.
Cut them into quarters length wise, if there are larger ones halve them again so they're all roughly the same size.
natures perfect little spudlings must be watched and cared for. this is the price.
Depending on what you're doing you could microwave the big ones for just a lil bit to catch them up. It is annoying when I make some baked potatoes and one is perfect and the other one is still lumpy inside.
For new summer potatoes I usual put them in cold water, bring them to a boil and let them boil for seven minutes. I then take the pot off the heat and let them cook on the remaining heat for another seven minutes before I pour off the cooking water.
Obviously YMMV depending on the size and variety of your potatoes but generally this tends to work for me.
