So I'm legitimately bipolar. Had some traumatic experiences in jails and mental hospitals. I was a high achieving reckless petty criminal kid and that's who I've become as an adult.
I have a very mild LD that never held me back in school. It's NLD. I'm in the average range for that but my Verbal Intelligence is much higher. NLD is considered on the ASD and I also have a tentative diagnosis of PDD-NOS. Except I was heavily intoxicated when under examination that time.
I've dated women on the spectrum. The first was a methhead, crackhead, bath salts user in recovery but only with our Rx Adderall and Dexedrine. Also hydrocodone and lots of alcohol. The breakup never happened. She left for meth. She called after I graduated and moved for work. She never once addressed her own behavior. She was also borderline. I've known a few ot them.
She was a lot like me that it was scary but there was another woman a lot like her except so much more innocent with the lack of extreme drug history. One thing I had in common with both of them was political ideology and a memory for the newe. Notably the Iraq War.
Both considered themselves Ancoms. I identify differently depending on who I'm with. Around lefitsts I identify as AnSynd and Agorist because of my involvement in Agorist pursuits. I've been put on both benzos and amphetamines and learned how to procure a lot of the grey area chems. Mostly for personal use. I also gamble bitcoin.
The second girl was married and interesting because she happened to read the obscure newsmag I was writing for a few years back. She was impressed I had the emails of obscure journalists and comedians parts of the left support. She also had NLD and I think her right brain could seem deficient at times. Some stuff she would do would seem childish. It wasn't til I read her writing that I knew she was intelligent. Though mostly she was well spoken.
She had a moral disconnect where she couldn't see her pranks like signing random people up for dozens of catalogs, cyberstalking and in some cases actual stalking was wrong or bad. She volunteered to help out the Rohingya refugees FFS. I share this deficiency. I started doing drugs and graffiti at a young age. School was easy. Especially social science when my mom taught me how to write, and she was a former English teacher. I also grew up in a diverse community and had a leg up on those who didn't.
I took her on a date to an art museum on a free day. I always went to those so I learned how to walk through the staff only tunnels. She was halfway thinking I was gonna do an art heist. (I am banned from the museum for other reasons)
One of the things that broke us up was there was a rumor that I used heroin because I did use other opioids and all sorts of recreational drugs. A rumor was that my family supplied me with heroin too which pissed me off because they're talking about my family!
When dispelling this rumor she seemed a bit let down I didn't really use heroin. It seems like it would've made me more exciting. Being with a married woman who's husband is also openly dating--it just hit weird. Also weird was how I'm bipolar and this woman's brother had been too, and had hanged himself months before we met. The dad saw something in me and was sorta welcoming me into the family. The whole thing was weird.
So deviance among the neurodiverse isn't documented much. I knew a lot within the community and deviance seems less common. Among my bipolar and otherwise mentally ill comrades the substance abuse is sky high! Still there's similarities within the two groups and significant overlap making drug use, recklessness, and other behavior more likely.
Edit: I've also noticed that a couple ASD women are involved in the kink community. I didn't mention all the neurodiverse people I know here, just the ones closest to me and I do like to reminisc.
autistic and adhd. breaking the law makes my tummy hurt so I refrain. I love weed, without it I throw up a lot. It helps with over stimulation. I have low impulse control in general.
If weeds illegal in your state then not breaking the law also makes your tummy hurt.
its true, ill be in a bind if i go somewhere where its illegal. honestly i should just go to doctor.
I got ADHD and I'm like 90% sure autism as well, and my own experiences with drugs are smoking lots and lots of weed and drinking too much to deal with loneliness and self-loathing. My deviance was simply being unable to socialize properly and thus suffering severe social isolation for the majority of my life. I've recently been working on myself a lot and internalized how much I've grown and improved on my personality, but loneliness and despair of ever being free of it have driven me to the edge of suicide more than once.
I don't know if this is helpful or even relevant, but I'm a single data point I suppose.
Alright that's awful. I hope you figured that out. Are you medicated for ADHD? I take amphetamines. There's also grey market supplements you can take. Some are harder to procure than others and some are relatively serious stims. There's the same grey market in anti-anxiety drugs
Taking Strattera. Was taking Wellbutrin for my depression up til December then quit. I feel the same but without Wellbutrin side effects
With me it's been all the drugs. Opioids benzos speed dissociatives weed whip its... all of it.
This is super relatable, I did the same substances for the same reasons. Recently, I've pretty much stopped touching anything except an occasional joint. Maybe that's just because things are better and I don't feel very lonely? I'm not sure, I might just be better at coping with loneliness.
So I'm legitimately bipolar. Had some traumatic experiences in jails and mental hospitals. I was a high achieving reckless petty criminal kid and that's who I've become as an adult.
gang
though the crimes mostly stopped as i got older
I'm autistic and i have never took any drugs, smoked or drank alcohol. Its probably because i was so awkward (still am) that i didnt have any interaction with my peers outside of school so i never faced any social pressure to use those things
I'm schizoaffective, but personally very drug averse. Like, my state alters itself, and I frankly have zero desire to use drugs to alter my state further. I'm not fully straightedge, but close to it (have a single drink around once a week, tried a few times weed and didn't like it). However, in my experience, many people on the schizophrenia spectrum do use drugs at least occasionally (likely because they can use them to exert control over their mental state, rather than being more-or-less at the whims of brain chemistry people don't understand). I mean, smoking cigarettes is so extremely common for schizophrenic people that's its been studied pretty well.
But also, idc about people doing drugs? Like, my friend group in highschool was the 'druggie' kids, so I spent a fair amount of time trip-sitting. Which, at my very suburban upbringing, was modestly deviant I suppose. (I actually didn't get diagnosed until a psychotic break in college, so I didn't know or get treated for shit yet, but also I had mood and personality issues, and did periodically hallucinate, so like, the signs were there.)
I do like doing some light victimless crime though. Was big into urban exploration, and am handy with a lockpick set and jimmy-bar, though I've never done anything beyond extremely petty theft. Ironically, my job now involves doing a lot of work/oversight in steam tunnels and other infrastructure spaces.
Kinda similar to my experiences with drugs (being friendly/attracted to groups where its normal, but not participating), is with kink. I have and had have some kinky ass friends, and have zero problems with nudity (in myself and others), but also I'm very not-horny (not quite ace, but close), and very monogamous. So I've spent a fair amount of time at parties that pretty much turn into orgies, sitting and chillin with the other abstainers or rest takers.
The only 'addiction' I every really had with was self-harm, and that's kinda a grey area IMO. But I'm over a decade free from cutting, even if I will always have the scars.
I dunno, at the risk of sounding terminally online, "Normies" are just kinda exhausting to be around.
Yeah that was my initial diagnosis but it was amended because I abused drugs and had reckless manic episodes and symptomatology closer to BP1
I was a high achieving problem child - used to get into a lot of fights at school. Stopped fighting when I was about 17 because I hurt someone pretty bad - a switch flicked in me when I saw them laying on the ground - basically I was just shitting myself in case I'd paralysed them or something. Thankfully they were just winded.
I've cheated in pretty much every test I've ever done. That plus natural smarts meant my grades have always been flying.
Did quite a lot of drugs but then honestly, just got bored of them. Did a stupid amount of LSD one time (it made my friend nonverbal for like a day and gave him headaches for a year or so), but I was alright. Emotionally unaffected by it, although I do wonder what its long lasting effects on my brain were. Had a bad weed habit for a bit but again, got bored of it and have now cut down significantly. Since losing my tolerance to it, it gives me weed hangovers, so I'm probably going to quit it completely apart from at parties.
Nowadays I shoplift from time to time. One time I walked out with an entire canoe over my shoulder. No one stopped me because I guess, who the fuck is stupid enough to shoplift a giant canoe?
I also trespass a lot. I like exploring. I often just get whims to climb in and over stuff, get to places I'm not allowed to be, explore the backrooms of a building or whatever. I do a lot of calisthenics so I can climb just about whatever, pry stuff open, etc. When it happens I always sort of snap out of it afterwards and tell myself off for being silly and reckless. One time I jumped a large gap that absolutely would've 100% killed me if I messed up, and then got into a tiny office window. I didn't steal anything, just wandered around the empty space for a few hours. Anyway, that was dumb. I probably won't go that far again.
My only true vice, ever since I was about 13 is porn. God knows how many gigabytes of it I've consumed. I really need to quit it. Luckily, I've got a feeling I'm starting to feel bored of it. Or maybe I'm lying to myself. Who knows?
One time I walked out with an entire canoe over my shoulder. No one stopped me because I guess, who the fuck is stupid enough to shoplift a giant canoe?
Absolutely fantastic
