This is my cat, Max. His dad was a feral maine coon and his mum was a lazy barn cat. He is simultaneously weirdly crafty and the most head-empty animal you could meet.
He yaps a lot which is normal, he likes annoying the birds at our window. But also he will not stop eating hair? I don't exactly leave random strands of hair everywhere; my wife and I have shoulder length & extremely long hair respectively, but we always put stray strands in the bin.
Idk where he even finds it, but he eats hair. He loves to eat hair. He sits by the couch or our carpeted stairs and he chomps at the air, trying to grab a spare strand and eat it. He chomps like mad all day at random places. Occasionally I catch him dragging his ass, because he has a turd hanging from his butthole by a long strand of hair 
Why on earth does he do this? How do I stop him? Why is my dog so dumb??
Maybe get some cat grass? My cat likes to chew on random shit but if we give her some cat grass she will go to that every time. If there is no cat grass she'll just start chewing on random bits of fluff and hair on the floor.
The downside of cat grass is it doesn't really stop the turd hanging on by a thread problem cos the hair is now replaced with grass although its not as bad. Its also generally healthier and safer and also she REALLY likes it and gets super mad when we forget to refresh the grass
Do the turds dangle from the grass then???
Also BIG YAWN, nice cat
They can do if she's eaten a big enough strand whole but mostly its chewed up. She's only tracked maybe 1 or 2 grass turds about the house over the last year