I’ve only dated two people (I think I’m about to fuck this current situation up) but it seems like I don’t know how to handle it when the novelty of a new relationship somewhat calms down on my end and I’m dealing with someone who is ostensibly over attached and saying all of these wild things and love bombing me.

Things seemed to be going so well for us, but they suddenly became super physical when their lack of physicality was the exact reason I chose to date them in the first place, and that sort of took me aback :/

I’m posting in the nd forum because I suspect this is an example of not being able to deal with change (we’re on the same wavelength for a bit then I return to reality while they stay up in the clouds). It also takes up a loooooooot of energy. Shit suuuuuuuuuuuucks because I truly thought I had found the one :/

  • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    There's a few factors that can play a big role: our age and experience with relationships, it really could be that you two are not a good fit, and other things. At the end of the day, any relationship you get into is going to take open communication and work to grow it into what you and your partner(s) need. Open communication about expectations, how you will communicate and navigate different neurodivergence needs, expected routines and how you will or will not support each other (like are you going to have a joint bank account), is marriage or some sort of formalized union something that you're looking for, is having children in the cards, etc. Basically, what are the terms of your relationship is both something to talk about at the beginning and frequently revisit it as it grows and changes. The point is, at every stage you need to be talking about these things, giving feedback and accepting it - it takes active work. This way you can know the changes and sort them out together - that's partnership. Idk, I'm kinda going on a soap box, does this help?