Sounds like you need an open and frank discussion on what you both want out of the relationship. It's awkward but if you let things simmer it'll turn into resentment or some other negative feeling. Perhaps if you talk to the other person they might understand and not try to go too fast or you might have such different needs that it would be impossible to compromise and you agree to go your separate ways.

We kind of need more information. You say you are being touched too much and the initial lack of touch is what attracted you. In the beginning of any relationship there is a natural curve to all of the things. Touch is one that goes from zero touches to a lot of touches once the relationship starts to grow. If you don’t want/ need these touches (it’s usually a good thing) then you need to have a frank discussion about your needs and if your new partner is going to be able to cater to these needs.

I’m also curious about what the timeline of this situation/relationship is at. Like are you 1 month or 2 year in? How long have you known this person and where/how did you meet?

Personally I think that it’s kind of hard to bounce back into the same vibe once it gets this lopsided and I believe that if you meet someone else right now that you would bounce on this relationship. The best relationships happen when both parties are on the same wavelength and communication goes a long way of keeping things in balance.

One of the problems I have in my relationships is that I know 2 or 3 months in that this relationship is not going to work (I am looking for forever) but I stay in it and only bale when things start to go south. This is not fair to my partner and I realize now that it is abusive behavior on my part.

sometimes you just notice they are not the right person for you after you get to know them much better and your horny has calmed down a bit.

I skip over traditional relationships at this point. my relationships are just friendships with sex. anybody that I maintain that with for any length of time is usually on the spectrum as well

There's a few factors that can play a big role: our age and experience with relationships, it really could be that you two are not a good fit, and other things. At the end of the day, any relationship you get into is going to take open communication and work to grow it into what you and your partner(s) need. Open communication about expectations, how you will communicate and navigate different neurodivergence needs, expected routines and how you will or will not support each other (like are you going to have a joint bank account), is marriage or some sort of formalized union something that you're looking for, is having children in the cards, etc. Basically, what are the terms of your relationship is both something to talk about at the beginning and frequently revisit it as it grows and changes. The point is, at every stage you need to be talking about these things, giving feedback and accepting it - it takes active work. This way you can know the changes and sort them out together - that's partnership. Idk, I'm kinda going on a soap box, does this help?

I like being touched (by a vague bf-like apparition, not randos) but one guy for some reason never touched me in any way that wasn't rude/mean, and I mean that by very normal standards. He was ejected very fast.

Desiring novelty is very common, both romantically and sexually. It will only bring you unhappiness if a long-term monogamous relationship is what you want. Unfortunately it kind of is as simple as that. This is a struggle everybody goes through and that you will need to overcome on a personal level.

Alternatively a lot of relationships die after the honeymoon period because the hormonal crush rush fades and stops papering over the large incompatibilities or flaws in the relationship, so this might just be very normal and not actually a problem.