Idk what to do. I might be trans, might just be someone who wants to look cute and I can't tell the difference anymore. Also permanently transitioning will come at great personal cost and might be a unique safety issue. Also I never had any dysphoric thoughts before 26-27y of age. I'm 31 now I've lived most of my life as a straight man maybe just keep going lmao. But I do have gender envy for days. Point being why now. Also it'll break my mother's heart if she so much as sees me in a skirt. Dad's too lol. Say what you will about 'that's on them, not your problem, transphobes bad' I can't help but love and care about them, they've really tried as parents. they're just heavily indoctrinated old ppl with calcified brains.
I just have this voice that says
CW; possible transphobia
#spoiler 'what if you're wrong and you've alienated Your family for the sake of nothing but self-indulgent, pointless navel gazing.'
"what if in wrong" is an incredibly common thought.
You can always keep doing what you're doing until you're more sure. It sounds like you're already dressing femme. Unfortunately, it's hard to figure out if you're wrong until you try.
spoiler
I've started HRT about 3 months ago and I still haven't come out to some of my family (well, I kinda have... a couple times, but not really?). One of the few reasons I haven't is because if I decide to stop, I don't want to have to un-come-out. Anyways, hard to imagine many cis people being so worried about finding out they aren't trans.