I hate how cheap alcohol is. It's always have 50 cents for a shot around here, so I always have the money for it. Whatever quarters are in my purse is my alcohol fund. It feels like just being drunk and hiding it from everybody is the best path. I stopped taking my anti-psychotic days ago. I'm fucking up a lot of progress I made right now. Alcohol doesn't make me angry or anything like that, it just makes me recenter my entire life around it. It makes me only care about getting more drunk. I hate everything rn. Sorry for the rant guys, I just really needed to get it off my chest.
Literally me when I fall off the wagon and start drinking again. If I don't stop myself I could go on a binge for months.
Oh yeah I function great as a drunk. Arguably better than when I'm sober. I face very little consequences IRL for my alcoholism. I just know that I'm an alcoholic and refuse to ignore it. All the consequences are in my head. I might be an alcoholic, but I'm not going to be an alcoholic without fighting it. I've really appreciated your support.
Speaking of support, I've switched over to the nicotine pouches. They're a lot cheaper than cigs, and you can do them in more places. I personally have a much easier time going into somewhere like walmart with a pouch in my mouth, it's opened up a whole world that wasn't available to smoking me. It's made me feel like smoking me was missing out. Might be worth giving a shot.