I have pretty much given up on being social at all any more because of how much I seem to resist it, even though I WANT to go out and do things and make more friends and be consistent. But it's just so exhausting, I dissociate when I'm out and about unless I'm drunk, I get super anxious about what to talk about, etc etc. I've been going to punk and metal shows for like 20+ years but now I pretty much have resigned myself to the fact that I just am not gonna go anymore because I just disappoint myself again and again after I tell myself I wanna go, but then when it comes down to it I figure out a way to just avoid it. And that makes me sad.
I'm AuDHD, and currently exploring meds. Has anyone noticed an impoved ability to socialize/go out in public when medicated?
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These are all things that I think are issues I struggle with in social interactions for sure. It's wild to even begin to think about how much energy is put in to moderating oneself...I started to realize just how much I'd finish other people's sentences or interrupt, so in the past year at work I've taken up the habit of covering my mouth with my hands when I start interrupting lol. The sensory overload is really intense, too. trying to block out other background conversations and really pay attention can be so difficult. I think part of this is why I like going to shows so much. I have spurts of 15 minute social interaction, then a reason to just leave mid conversation to go watch a band where I don't need to talk to anyone for like 20-45 minutes
It would be cool to have a little battery indicator to see just exactly how much energy is consumed by engaging in masking each day
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