White or brown toast?
Toasted or not?
Anything else I should know about cucumber sandwiches?
This is easy. Anything that touches cucumber is ruined.
If you insist on making a cucumber sandwich, just remember to chuck the whole thing in the bin before eating it
Hear hear. Cucumber is a plague that ruins anything it touches. I'm glad there are others.
White and un-toasted. Add the mearest smear of mayonnaise, a hint of salt and white pepper, cut the crusts off, and then cut each round into three rectangles to make finger sandwiches.
Yes, I'd say the removed crusts and tiny sizes are the most distinctive features
Here's how you make a cucumber sandwich. Get a French baguette, cut it in half like a hoagie, finely dice cucumber and mix it with shredded carrots and diced jalapeno before quick pickling with cilantro, salt, pepper, garlic and lime juice. Let those sit for like 10 minutes. Take some chicken and marinate it with soy sauce, garlic, ginger, etc. Broil that shit, shred it up, stuff into sandwich and top with pickled veg
Finish by cutting some mayonnaise with sriracha and a bit of lime juice until it's drizzling consistency (salt and pepper to taste), and drizzle over the top of sandwich, top with more cilantro
That's a bit like saying: you make a cucumber sandwich by crisping up some duck, steam some pancakes, put some duck on a pancake, then cut up cucumber and spring onions to sprinkle on the duck before using hoisin sauce as the paste to stick your rolled up pancakes together.
If you went into an English tea room for afternoon tea and they served you that monstrosity and claimed it was a cucumber sandwich, you'd be perfectly within your rights to burn the entire place to the ground and not a single judge in the country would convict you.
If I made some idiot a bahn mi and they cried about it then they can kindly fuck themselves and not eat it
that monstrosity
Most British response ever to a description of a bahn mi. Oh no, ethnic cuisine!!!
If the thread had been titled "how do I make a bahn mi" then I'd have upvoted you to the moon. But it wasn't. It was asking how to make that most English (not British, but English) of foods, a cucumber sandwich. And in case that wasn't a clue enough, the community is Ask UK. Not Ask Vietnam or Ask America.
Cucumbers aren't native to England. They're not even native to Europe.
The English, get this, incorporated the exciting new vegetable into their diet after being introduced by Indians, and ignored whiny people telling the world "cucumbers aren't English" until they died out and we're forgotten by history. Imagine the 17th century version of yourself saying they'll burn down any teahouse that sells the exotic Indian "cucumber" because it's not English?
You can't expand your culture if you never try to expand it and "burn down" any change.
Imagine the bellend in 1650 that went "oh tea? I don't touch that Chinese stuff, never tried it and never will, and I'll burn down any establishment that sells it"
Tbf, the Brit probably wants something as a simple as a cucumber sandwich (calling it a monstrosity is prbly evil), though I believe he could've just used kimchi pickle cucumbers or just a plain pickle
What you made is just a good working class sandwich good for an entree, not for an appetizer for tea, before the main course
Would it suffice, @buried_treasure@feddit.uk to use pickles?
Wishing to burn down the buildings of people that have too much flavor in their food is definitely on brand for a gammon. Been burning any buildings down lately under pretense of scary foreign invaders? Last week, maybe?
A baguette is bread, a sandwich is bread with stuff on it. Seeing as I described a baguette laden with filling, I'm pretty sure I described a sandwich, hoss
Can you guys just ban me from this "feddit" shithole, yall are terminally obtuse and unfunny
Hear me out.... Mayonnaise.
Softest white bread you can find. Sliced cucumber. A sliver of mayo. Cheese or ham slices according to your preference. Or both.
Sliced sideways not diagonally.
If it has cheese or ham then it's not a cucumber sandwich. It's a cheese sandwich, or a ham sandwich.
White bread, untoasted, thin sliver of marg, feed them to your auntie with weak tea in a china mug and, for dessert, get out Mr Kipling's French Fancies or a couple of slices of Battenberg. Make yourself a few ham and cheese butties with a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch and a glass of crap pop (probably lemonade).
No substitutions accepted.