I went from being a happy kid that smiled all the time, enjoyed drawing and had several friends to a pathetic adult with no talents, passion, creativity, friends or a job. Just a worthless and unlovable failure. And recently it's gotten so bad that I've started cutting myself and contemplating suicide. I just don't believe I have what it takes to get my life together, sadly.
If I had a flower that was wilting, I wouldn't call it a worthless flower, I'd think "oh shit, what am I not giving this flower?" I'd ask what it is about the environment that is being unsupportive of your hope and joy.
Funny enough, you caught me in the middle of a tiny spiral. Sounds like something we could commiserate about, probably.
Goddamn, look at it. I hate it so much it's unreal. It's like I've thrown a metric fuck load of money and effort into not feeling so low and I've looked at my situation from 50 different directions and tried 100 different things and it's like would I feel that much more down if I just never questioned anything at all? I doubt it.