could anyone give me any advice as to how to create a new resume? i'm having a lot of trouble with doing so because i have a very rough history with jobs ( quitting without notice many times when i was much younger ) and also because i've been unemployed for 2 years now. I know that lying is something i'm going to have to do to make myself seem more employable and so i don't get heavily interrogated, but i really just don't know how to fill in the gaps without making it seem suspicious. I'm not very good at lying and i'm autistic so all of this has been very difficult for me. i'd love to know if any of you have been in the same place as me and if so, what you did. any advice would be much appreciated! 
Rule number one is if you're applying online, just tailor the resume to the job offer. Use all the keywords and buzzwords they use to describe the position in your previous experiences, that way they'll think you're perfect for the job. Tailoring the resume to the job also means that you have to think what to keep and what to leave, that way all your experience will seem relevant.
As someone else already said, make up jobs or even say you worked as a freelancer, and have someone who's willing to pose as your previous boss/client.
What have you been doing during the two years you were unemployed, if you don't mind saying? You'll have to come up with a way to justify it, so maybe education or self employment could be an easy excuse.
for the past two years i've been fortunate enough to have my parents support me, but i haven't been going to school during this time either, i really haven't done anything in that time that i could put down on my resume, so yeah i may just have to lie and say that i've been attending school.
What field of work did you do/are applying for?
I've worked mostly in the restaurant/service industry, so i'm most likely going to apply for jobs in that field, but I'd really like to try something else because the amount of socializing I have to do is dreadful for me
Are you decent with computers? Maybe you could try and apply to some computer repair shops. Should be a hell of a lot less socializing. I used to wait tables before working in tech so I totally get how exhausting it is to be constantly interacting with customers is.