I am a lazy failure who can't do anything. Basic shit I consistently just... don't do. Its embarrassing. I don't even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I've wanted to for years that I've just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I'm not fucking doing that. I've been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I'm fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can't even remember when the last time I didn't struggle with this. And it doesn't feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I'm not sure how it ever can get better.

  • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
    ·
    2 months ago

    lots of good replies already, just wanna chime in and repeat that you're really not lazy, you're clearly suffering from executive dysfunction related to one or more neurodivergences. I'm autistic and have chronic MDD and I relate extremely hard to your struggle. I will say please try to be kinder to yourself, I always encourage people like us to strive towards altogether avoiding the word lazy, it is basically a form of bullying yourself inherited from NT society's expectations. I know it can be a hard viewpoint to shake and it may not happen overnight, but looking at yourself that way is not constructive to fixing the things you wanna fix and may do more harm than good. I wish you all the best in finding healthy coping methods and accomodations for your executive dysfunction. it's really hard. being able to talk about it is good but in future try not to put yourself down like this!!! meow-hug

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      Thank you meow-hug can never have enough nice replies. I will try to quit the self bullying, its been a thing for too long.