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yeah. one thing that helps is my boyfriend constantly calling me beautiful on my bad days. he's very persuasive, so sometimes i even begin to believe it. <3
i do kinda envy the people that feel safe being openly trans. i'm lucky enough to pass and being openly trans has brought me nothing but grief. i avoid talking about it except to my closest friends.
my transition was weird. in appearance, i seemed to have a weird back and forth. first i started out a twink, then a femboy, then so androgynous that i got hit on by both straight men and women, followed up with passing and not passing intermittently. now it seems im just passing all the time even though I feel like i don't look much different than a year ago when things were stop and go.
looking back on my pics, i obviously look way different 4ish years into hrt. than i did 1st or 2nd year. but its still hard for me to not look at things like my chin or my lips and be like 'MAN'.
i mean the obvious reason that i'd envy the boug is i want a vagina and a boug could get one.
and tbh i wish i could see me the way my boyfriend sees me. he's a very handsome guy, very strong, can throw me across the room very easily. he thinks that i'm way out of his league and has been consistent on that. he thinks i look like a supermodel or something and i just don't see it. i look like a sick person with tremors imo.
yeah i seemed to have issues with spiro so that has been causing me some hormonal issues lately. like my body suddenly decided it didnt like it.
and maybe i can be. like id only know for certain that i had dysmorphia if i got surgeries done i think. if im still angry with my body id accept it was definitely dysmorphia.
hrt makes me feel so good in comparison to how i was before that i know for certain that i am never stopping it, so theres also a chemical dysphoric component to my situation i think
yeah the antiandrogens are kinda gnarly but i worry about messing up my srs if i go for testicle removal before it. i'm just not lucky when it comes to surgeries
It also means sometimes I’ll drop that I’m trans (because it’s so obvious isn’t it?) and folks will express surprise, which surprises me.
also same. like i had to go to the hospital once for stomach issues and the nurse was absolutely convinced i was pregnant and i kept trying to explain i was trans and she was like 'oh youre starting testosterone? that might be it'. it was funny but i was so bewildered that she knew what trans was and assumed i was the opposite.
yeah. one thing that helps is my boyfriend constantly calling me beautiful on my bad days. he's very persuasive, so sometimes i even begin to believe it. <3
i do kinda envy the people that feel safe being openly trans. i'm lucky enough to pass and being openly trans has brought me nothing but grief. i avoid talking about it except to my closest friends.
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my transition was weird. in appearance, i seemed to have a weird back and forth. first i started out a twink, then a femboy, then so androgynous that i got hit on by both straight men and women, followed up with passing and not passing intermittently. now it seems im just passing all the time even though I feel like i don't look much different than a year ago when things were stop and go.
looking back on my pics, i obviously look way different 4ish years into hrt. than i did 1st or 2nd year. but its still hard for me to not look at things like my chin or my lips and be like 'MAN'.
i mean the obvious reason that i'd envy the boug is i want a vagina and a boug could get one.
and tbh i wish i could see me the way my boyfriend sees me. he's a very handsome guy, very strong, can throw me across the room very easily. he thinks that i'm way out of his league and has been consistent on that. he thinks i look like a supermodel or something and i just don't see it. i look like a sick person with tremors imo.
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yeah i seemed to have issues with spiro so that has been causing me some hormonal issues lately. like my body suddenly decided it didnt like it.
and maybe i can be. like id only know for certain that i had dysmorphia if i got surgeries done i think. if im still angry with my body id accept it was definitely dysmorphia.
hrt makes me feel so good in comparison to how i was before that i know for certain that i am never stopping it, so theres also a chemical dysphoric component to my situation i think
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yeah the antiandrogens are kinda gnarly but i worry about messing up my srs if i go for testicle removal before it. i'm just not lucky when it comes to surgeries
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yeah they can, i just have bad scarring issues so i fear the worst if its not all in one go
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also same. like i had to go to the hospital once for stomach issues and the nurse was absolutely convinced i was pregnant and i kept trying to explain i was trans and she was like 'oh youre starting testosterone? that might be it'. it was funny but i was so bewildered that she knew what trans was and assumed i was the opposite.
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i mean thats also how i feel but i just prefer to avoid the conversation altogether if we're not close