A few days ago, my partner told one of their coworkers about me making cookies at night, and the coworker immediately asked if I was manic. I decided to look into it and while I don't get highly manic or depressed, my behavior does match the symptoms pretty well. On top of that, about half of people with MS have a mood disorder.
I guess I don't want my partner to think of me as a normal person with a layer of personality on top due to BPD. And I really don't want them to be scared of my hurting them due to stereotypes about it. But there is a really good chance I have it (I will seek a diagnosis) and they have a right to know.
Edit: I sort of soft launched it by asking if they would think of me different or be scared of me if I had bipolar disorder, and they just straight up said yes, at least for a while. I'm hoping that at worst it's Cyclothymia.
:hugs:
Bipolar is scary. I have Bipolar type II.
So, with Bipolar I; If you have a manic episode people will probably notice. The symptoms tend to be very bright and loud. People in a manic state will sleep very little, they'll express a great deal of energy, they'll often make very bad decisions with great enthusiasm. In some cases it can go in to full blown "I am jesus" delusions. It's not normal behavior at all, it's very dramatic. Often people are diagnosed with Bipolar I when they have a serious manic episode for the first time and end up in hospital on a psycho hold.
Bipolar II is a harder to diagnose. Bipolar II comes with hypo-mania, lesser mania or below mania. You get a lot of energy, you get very excited, you have a lot of ideas, but it's not as dramatic or out of control as full mania. But it's still a very marked, fairly extreme state. People with Bipolar II often aren't diagnosed for a long time because while hypo-mania can be very distressing and disruptive it's also less extreme than full mania, less obviously a mental health crisis, and generally easier to manage without professional medical help. That means people can go longer before their coping mechanisms and strategies fail and they get in real trouble.
The other side of Bipolar II is severe, long lasting, treatment resistant depression. Both BP I and BP II get depressions. They differ in that BP I deperession usually doesn't last as long as BP II depression and isn't as severe. BP I people might have a few weeks or rarely months of depression at a time, while BP II people will often have weeks or months, or possibly years, of very serious and debilitating depression.
So both varieties, when you have the symptoms, the symptoms tend to be very disruptive and beyond normal behavior and feelings. On top of that, Bipolar has a lot of symptoms that overlap with other conditions. ADHD and Autism both have many symptoms that overlap with bipolar. Thyroid disorders sometimes cause similar symptoms. So, if you're having issues with your mental health, if it turns out it's not bipolar, it doesn't necessarily mean there's nothing going on. A good psych doc or nurse will generally order blood tests for you to check for normal thyroid function, assess you for normal, not-bipolar depression, and help you look for other potential causes for what you're dealing with. Sometimes it turns out to be as simple as a vitamin B or iron deficiency!
Regardless, good luck with getting in to see a doctor. If you think you have a health problem you should seek medical advice whenever possible.
I appreciate this. I get my labs done very often (upside of MS?) so I can safely rule out thyroid issues on my own. I didn't want to go into my own behavior for opsec, but there are certainly behaviors that line up with manic and depressive episodes, along with some history of mood disorders in my family, though like you said I'm aware there are other explanations.
Thanks for your kind words
I understand this fear unfortunately well (still trying to get an eval for a few things including bipolar 2
). I dont have any advice, just empathy and virtual hugs if you want them.depending on how long you've been with your partner, they probably already suspect it and so an official diagnosis isn't really going to change the dynamic between the 2 of you.
If they like you, then they like YOU. No matter what labels have been applied to your personality
They're pretty good on most stigmas and things, but they aren't so good on Bipolar. Especially because they work with someone who I guess had to be hospitalized because she punched someone during a manic episode.
I'm so confused right now, making cookies at night is a sign of bipolar? Am I dumb or something? That's not even a particularly high energy activity or something
I had made my partner late to work because I was rushing to get these cookies done.
