Brilliant product pitch for Shark Tank to sell to the Black Rifle Coffee demographic
sex toy mention
A wearable buttplug with internal baffles like a gun suppressor that silences your farts called the SBD covert posterior armor
"SBD: We'll cover your six so you don't ND and give away your position in your AO"
💨 
Alternatively we could sell this to the DoD for JSOC guys to stealthily infiltrate Venezuela without alerting the antifa fisherman supersoldiers with their farts, then we give Maduro a secret signal that does the IOF Lebanese pagers move and they get their asses (literally)
Easy, just build a dog whistle into it, and claim that it silences AND deodorizes farts.
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think this might be the best thing since sliced bread
you should
I did
That's what inspired this ingenious idea