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Not trans here, hope I'm not breaking any explicit or implied rules or best practices. I just wanted to comment that that is the sweetest community I've seen, just pure trans comradeship. Keep being so incredibly based as you are, trans community. To be honest I'm a little jealous of what you've managed to build.
My first name came from an indie game. In Sundered, an Eldritch metroidvania, the protagonist's name is Eshe. I liked it. Funny part is, I did some googling after the fact. Eshe has Swahili origins, meaning life. Lynn has French origins, meaning "living near a river, waterfall, or stream," or something. Or, as I'm choosing to mean, "wellspring of life."
No point to my story, either. Just letting you know, you can pick your name for any reason you want. Live your life. Kinda the whole point of coming out as trans, ya? Being yourself?
I'm sorry if this comes off as vapid, hell feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if you want, but doubting your decision on a name will always lead to disappointment. Pick a name that you like for any reason you like, and afterwards don't keep shopping around for names, be proud of the one you have, it's as valid as you are.
Anxiety do be a bitch like that, but in the end it's just intrusive thoughts. You're gonna have to disregard them, and have confidence that the choice you're making is a correct one. Also I understand that's a lot easier said than done, but from my own experience it's really the best advice I got, and I can say anxiety's done a lot more harm than good in my own life. Maybe it don't mean shit coming from a stranger, but I believe you can do it.
I tried out a few names that never really felt right as well. Then I just gave in and changed one letter of my dead name so it was a girls name and owned it. Pretty much every bully used it anyway growing up so it kind of just fell into place. Still feels like I'm pretending sometimes but the imposter syndrome happens less and less.
