I realize those two things can go hand-in-hand. I genuinely don’t mean to be offensive and am asking in earnest. I personally was born male assigned at birth, feel pretty male but also hate being male. It’s not that I wish I was something else, I just don’t like being male and can’t relate to most “male experiences” besides having a dick. I don’t know anyone who is not cishet irl, so I could definitely use some education in this area
Looking back at it, for me, I don't think I really could've transitioned any earlier (in this society).
cw: suicidal ideation
I'm almost certain I would've killed myself if I had transitioned any younger, I didn't have much resilience and it was a major thought during my initial egg cracking - "am I gonna do this or am I gonna kill myself because I can't go back to pretending I'm not trans." I think if I had been one of those kids that transitioned at like 12 I wouldn't have made it through middle school between all the crap I was already dealing with at home and my family and what the schools I was going to were like.
So I don't know if I was "holding myself back" or if I just needed to develop the strength and resilience I needed in this cursed society. Dunno if it's the same for you, but I did spend a lot of time over the last few years regretting not doing it sooner and I've only recently started to be easier on myself about it lately.
Honestly same, it really took getting to a point in my life where I had some stability (social supports, etc) and could afford to be introspective without having to worry about dealing with social fallout on top of everything else - I didn't start until wayyyy after college because even that was in a very conservative place.
I do regret not doing it sooner as well, but it just wasn't in the cards materially. Regardless I still look hotter than I've ever been so
that's been helping
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