Love to see a bunch of shit I'm not qualified for and then a bunch of things that don't begin to cover my expenses and feel bad about myself and my circumstances and cry and eventually put one application for a custodian position with the county because what the fuck else will I do
I know if I went back to school and finished a degree it would give me a leg up but I just can't fucking handle the workload of work and school anymore, I feel like such a lazy piece of shit but I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this shit up
Dealing with a lot of dark thoughts today. Very dark.
I swear the process is designed to discipline labor. It's a weird hazing ritual we've normalized as part of making a living so you feel indebted to whoever hires you for ending the madness.
It kind of feels like the internet ruined it a bit. Jobs are so fucking competitive now, and posted so far and wide, that everyone is desperately jumping through hoops submitting white-hot applications. I can't just walk in an ask around, and get lucky. Why would they take a risk on me when they can send the job posting out to the most overqualified candidates in the area?
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