Love to see a bunch of shit I'm not qualified for and then a bunch of things that don't begin to cover my expenses and feel bad about myself and my circumstances and cry and eventually put one application for a custodian position with the county because what the fuck else will I do
I know if I went back to school and finished a degree it would give me a leg up but I just can't fucking handle the workload of work and school anymore, I feel like such a lazy piece of shit but I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this shit up
Dealing with a lot of dark thoughts today. Very dark.
I'm worried I'll have start this again soon. My boss and workplace seem very accommodating for bereavement but I've just handed off all my clients and I've been ghosted by workplaces before. Also, casual so "bereavement leave" is just me not getting any hours
Theres something very dark and twisted in telling people how high youll jump for them in order to survive. I remember being unemployed last year and doing the dumbest most degrading shit for job interviews.
One literally had me do a math test, which I did poorly at, before being asked to do it again. Then they asked me what I wanted to do for a career, which I told them some generic answer until they kept asking and got a real answer, which I told them ideally Id be a professional musician. Which they didnt like. Go figure.
Like normalize just trying to survive. Come on.
I interviewed for a job years ago that would have involved setting / stocking shelves for a grocery chain, distinctly remember the guy visibly losing interest when I said I hadn't researched the companies mission and core values. Like oh wow I really want to slurp up whatever bullshit the marketing team decided to put up on their website, suck off me.
distinctly remember the guy visibly losing interest when I said I hadn't researched the companies mission and core values.
oh my god, what kind of dork even cares about that shit?
Internally, no one. Externally, also no one. It is entirely in the boundary of preliminary hires and preliminary large scale clients, and nothing else
Yeah, you have my empathy, job hunting is brutally alienating, and as with so many things under Capitalism the cruelty is the point. Hope you manage to find something that doesn't totally suck!
Holy shit I hate job hunting so fucking much. It feels like it is designed to make neurodivergent people suffer. My last interview was a group interview and fuck I should have just left. Never agreeing to another one of those torture sessions again.
Going on 13 months since I lost my last job. Right there with you comrade. Solidarity
My last job rejection (after a series of interviews), they were hiring 10 people for the role. Despite having held the same job title as I was applying for for about 10 years, somehow I was apparently not desirable enough to be one of ten, let alone #1. Fuck 'em all.
Normally I'm lucky to get an interview at all
Sorry dude. That sounds...grinding. Hope you find something half way decent soon. You deserve to be treated like a person , with value, and your skills should be recognized too. Solidarity, Internet stranger. I feel for ya.
You deserve to live a full and flourishing life, Comrade.
I'm sorry Capitalism failed you. This isn't your fault.
I swear the process is designed to discipline labor. It's a weird hazing ritual we've normalized as part of making a living so you feel indebted to whoever hires you for ending the madness.
It kind of feels like the internet ruined it a bit. Jobs are so fucking competitive now, and posted so far and wide, that everyone is desperately jumping through hoops submitting white-hot applications. I can't just walk in an ask around, and get lucky. Why would they take a risk on me when they can send the job posting out to the most overqualified candidates in the area?
Corpo ghouls call this "churn" and it's intentional. They want everyone to be in precarious positions so they can be exploited for less.
From what it looks like out there, "job hunting" often feels more like "job begging" complete with the acts of humiliation, the requirement to roam around and count on the vanishingly scarce generosity of others.
As a formerly homeless person myself, I think I know those dark thoughts because I've had my own. Sometimes, only spite kept me going.
I have no meaningful advice that you probably haven't already heard, except that I believe that every day you're alive is one day closer to outlasting this.
I'm scrolling hexbear to distract myself from those exact feelings
I had a couple stints where I sent literally hundreds of applications trying to get an entry level job with the state that I believe generally entail opening mail and never got a single response. I was told that you needed to call and ask about the applications so I made hundreds of calls and the people who answered generally sounded annoyed and would ask if I knew how many people were on a priority list. My bills are fortunately very manageable at the moment and I've been trying to make self employment work but I'm not sure I really have it in me with some undiagnosed auDHD going on. @Babs@hexbear.net made a post https://hexbear.net/post/3145128 a couple months ago about working at homeless shelters that I've been mulling over, but I've been dragging my feet in DMing her about it.
If you have the chance to do a degree you might as well. It's really not that difficult to at least pass. Like, the standard of work I saw from my worst classmates (who all passed) was sometimes quite astounding. I played video games and smoked too much weed, handed stuff in that I thought was totally shoddy, and still got a first. So do a lot of people.
If you do one, make sure it's one with a lot of practical stuff or placements. That way your grade isn't on doing some academic bullshit essay where you have to self motivate in the comfort of your own home where you'd rather be doing anything else, it's about showing up to a place where you can really feel you're learning a real world skill. And you can then put it on your CV. Very valuable. Plus it's fun, you'll meet people you can hang out with. University is more about gaining people skills and confidence than learning, to be honest.
That said... I'm on the job hunt now and I'm not qualified for fucking anything either, lol. That's on me for doing an arts based degree. Every application takes fucking forever too. But with the experience I got from doing a degree, it feels like I'm at least hitting the dartboard, whereas before i was blindly throwing it at the backboard. Once I've thrown 150 darts, I hope I might just get a bullseye one of these days.
