Love to see a bunch of shit I'm not qualified for and then a bunch of things that don't begin to cover my expenses and feel bad about myself and my circumstances and cry and eventually put one application for a custodian position with the county because what the fuck else will I do
I know if I went back to school and finished a degree it would give me a leg up but I just can't fucking handle the workload of work and school anymore, I feel like such a lazy piece of shit but I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this shit up
Dealing with a lot of dark thoughts today. Very dark.
It's depressing as fuck, it's the most degrading process in modern life together with looking for a flat to rent. They're both novel artificial scarcities designed by the system to keep us impoverished and exploited, trying to make us feel worthless so that we'll accept worse conditions.
Another depressing thing was a study some years ago showing that about 50% of positions offered are actually fake, the main reasons being that if you open fake vacants you can pretend your company's growing, and that you can keep your understaffed team more content if you pretend to be looking for more staff.