Coming out isn't just getting through the wall of fear of direct homophobia. It's also getting through the wall of fear of loss of privilege that being assumed to be hetero-cis provides because anything that is not hetero-cis has an inherent lesser social status. Even without it, there's an internal barrier created because of the obvious risk that represents.
i would also add: there's a wall of trying to redefine who you are in everyone else's eyes. there is a real fear of judgement even from people who have nothing against gays. because even if they're ok with gays in general, they may have negative reactions or thoughts about you specifically being gay. you see this all the time with parents especially - they're ok with gays, just as long as it's not their own kids
Is it weird to be afraid of coming out to people you know aren't homophobic?
Like I know my friends won't hate me if I come out like my family will but the thought of it still makes me uncomfortable.
same. i have difficulty making myself vulnerable to people in general, and it feels like an extension of that.
Coming out isn't just getting through the wall of fear of direct homophobia. It's also getting through the wall of fear of loss of privilege that being assumed to be hetero-cis provides because anything that is not hetero-cis has an inherent lesser social status. Even without it, there's an internal barrier created because of the obvious risk that represents.
i would also add: there's a wall of trying to redefine who you are in everyone else's eyes. there is a real fear of judgement even from people who have nothing against gays. because even if they're ok with gays in general, they may have negative reactions or thoughts about you specifically being gay. you see this all the time with parents especially - they're ok with gays, just as long as it's not their own kids
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