I'm not into my scene, just been to a few and know friends who go a lot. You should def try to find fem parties, they exist where I am. Also, just coincidence but I went to a queer POC one and most people there were AFAB surprisingly. But the hosts were also mostly AFAB and it was largely private invite only

A lot of play parties are kinda private though since it needs to be a safe environment so you kinda just have to try and meet people in the scene. I didn't try to look for any but because I gravitate to people/spaces with lots of queers, drugs, art, and neurodivergence, there was a lot of overlap with kinksters

I don't think it'd be weird to go to one as a virgin. Actual penetrative sex and even oral sex in my area at least is rare since kink/play is much more expressive and varied than typical sex acts